“The only way to win…is not to play.”
As 2013 comes to a close, it is customary to look back on the year’s events, the “big” stories that made the year what it was. For our purposes, and for my money, 2013 will be go down as the Year of the Manosphere.
For those of us in the know, this fact comes as no great shock or surprise – indeed, we’ve been aware of this fact for at least a year now. Toward the end of 2012, RooshV, a Washington, DC-area pickup blogger and self-proclaimed “sex tourist”, boldly predicted on his website Return of Kings, that the Manosphere would garner mainstream media attention; that the MSM could no longer “ignore” us. Given the coverage the Manosphere has gotten in this regard in the year that would follow – which would include both “exposes’” and discussion about some of the key ideas, concepts and concerns that are regularly heard in said Manosphere – I think it fair to say, that Roosh’s being accurate would be an understatement.
While the rest of the world now knew of the existence of the Manosphere, those in the know are well aware of the low-level running battles certain parts of the ‘sphere have been engaged in, largely with Feminists of varying stripe, and their faces-in-high-places allies in the Cathedral. But these “battles”, mostly in the form of Internet postings article-rants and social media drive-by campaigns, have largely involved two of the three “legs” of the ‘sphere: MRAs, an acronym for “Men’s Rights Activists”; and PUAs, short for Pickup Artists. The third and final leg on the Manosphere stool that gets outsized attention, are what is known as the MGTOWs – Men Going Their Own Way. In fact, when you really stop to think about it, in many ways, the latter cohort of the Manosphere, gets a lot more attention than the other two do – and for good reason.
That reason, is simple: unlike the former two cohorts, MGTOWs have “gone Galt”, after the titular character John Galt in the book Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (in the hood, we call it “going Ghost”; more on this below); a growing, and quiet, group of Men in early 21st century American life who have come to the conclusion that said society is increasingly hostile to them in myriad of ways, and as a response, they have decided to withdraw in varying ways. That includes pulling back from any social interaction that involves Women, first and foremost, and then decreasing any involvement with society that indirectly involves Women – so, for example, there is a growing cohort of Men who don’t even bother getting involved in the mating game anymore; and either the same or yet another cohort of Men who have deliberately limited their participation in “on the books” working arrangements, where they rightly surmise their tax payments will go to subsidize Women as a group in some way (a good example of this is the Obamacare program, and most notably the “Sandra Fluke” aspects of it, to say nothing of various welfare programs that subsidize unwed mothers and the like, etc.). Men’s Righters and Pickup Artists, say what you will about either, are at the very least, still “plugged in” to the system, i.e., they are still interacting in the World of Women, albeit in admittedly vastly different ways; whereas the Guys Going Their Own Way, are not – or at least, not anywhere near as much as the former two groups.
And (all the Single) ladies, are definitely taking notice.
Spend a bit of time Googling around using search terms like “MGTOW feminists” or “MGTOW women” or “MGTOW critiques” and see for yourself. Spend some time at some of the major Women’s sites, like Jezebel, Feministing, or Feministe, just to name a few (and please, do not let the shrill mocking tone fool you – it’s all a ploy to shame Men into “playing their role” in society – a tactic that, by all accounts, has failed miserably, I might add). You’ll quickly see a mountain of concern on their part over the growing cohort of Men in American life who are Dropping Out. Indeed, books have been written about it – “Manning Up” by Kay Hymowitz instantly comes to mind, as does Hanna Rosin’s “The End of Men”. Hill Harper has an entire chapter devoted to the topic in his “The Conversation”, and even arch-conservative Charles Murray’s excellent “Coming Apart” discusses the MGTOW phenomenon, although he doesn’t identify it as such, and gives his explanation for how and why it happens. Indeed, there are an entire shelf of books talking about the hows and whys of Men dropping out, and as far as I’m concerned the best of the lot is “Men on Strike” by Dr. Helen Smith. In it, she identifies four specific areas where increasing numbers of Men are “going on strike” in terms of involvement in American life. It’s an easy, quick yet powerful read, one that I highly recommend, and will revisit in future posts for further discussion, because it is just that important. (It is instructive – and telling – to consider the fact, that for all the yammering about “street harassment” and “creepers” in our time, there has yet to be one book written about it, let alone an entire shelf of same; compare and contrast to the above-mentioned works exhorting Men to “Man Up”…)
It has been estimated by various Manosphere insiders that the MGTOW arm of the ‘sphere is not only the largest segment, but its fastest growing – this, despite the fact that it is also its least organized of the three as well. This comes as no shock to this writer, for it is easy to see how relatively easy and simple it is to drop out, whereas both the MRA and PUA routes require a heck of a lot more work, time and effort, with payoffs not at all being as readily assured, or even worth it in the end. To be sure, I support both these efforts and for many reasons; but in pure cost/benefit terms, and on the individual level, which is where the MGTOW route makes the most sense, it truly does deliver more bang for the proverbial buck than the other two do, all things considered.
How and why do I say that?
Well, for one thing, I say all this as a Black Man, seeing all this from what I refer to as Ground Zero in the ongoing Sexual Politics Wars – Black America. For the past few decades, Black Men have been the shock troops in that war, arguably millions of them “going Ghost” in that time. As I’ve noted in a previous article, it is not at all unusual to pass through entire Black zones of a given city, and NOT see Black Men aged 30-49 in any appreciable numbers, if at all. Many will attempt to attribute this to mass incarceration of Black Men, or high homicide rates of same, and to be sure, they have played a role; but in a time when both are dropping, and, as we’ll see below, Black male cohorts outside of those commonly associated with jail and murder are “ghost” as well, something else has to account for the whys and wherefores as to why so many Brothas are MIA. MGTOWism, explains it very, very well. (Oh, and by the way, White Women’s efforts to get their Men to “Man Up” will fail, bigtime – I say this based on Black Women’s multi-decades long effort to shame Brothas into doing their bidding – even to the extent of having the Leader of the Free World upbraid them on the regular - all to no effect whatsoever. So y’all White Women might as well give it up right now. Won’t work.)
But perhaps the single biggest witness to the Brothas Going Their Own Way, are Sistas themselves; spend a bit of time around them, either live and in person, or perhaps better yet, in the Sistasphere online: Clutch, MadameNoire, Lipstick Alley and the like, and see for yourself. Not a day will go by where you won’t hear of at least one, and more often than not quite a few, Sistas bemoaning where all the “Good Black Men(TM)” have gone. Just this year alone, I’ve personally been witness to this – one Sista down in Baltimore lamented that the dance club she attended one Summer Friday night had a paltry handfull of Brothas with whom to dance on Black Facebook. And in real life, I attended a Labor Day Weekend backyard party of an early 40-something, singlemom-Sista – attractive, sociable, well-connected to the who’s-who’s of the area – where only one adult Black male showed up:
Me. All the other guys invited, didn’t bother to do so – this, after pleas on her part that she and her girlfriends would cook for them, etc. It was painful watching her ring up her guest list begging guys to come on through and get served by her and her girlfriends. Let me tell all the readers out there something about Black folks in general, and Black Men in particular, that they/we like to eat - especially if it’s free. Free grub at any event, be it a funeral, political rally, whatever, is guaranteed to get the Negroes out in force. But the fact that no other Brotha within shouting distance would dare approach this party, was truly a canary-in-the-mine moment for me – as I am sure it was a devastating blow to my hostess’ and her girlfriends’ egos to boot.
On the other hand, the food was delish.
In another example, earlier this Summer I wrote a piece at my personal blog The Obsidian Files, taking up the hysterical response of “living your best single life” expert Demetria Lucas to a documentary that’s made the rounds in Black American circles called “Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil”. As the title suggests, it chronicles the lives of a group of Brothas who have decided to pull up stakes and head off to greener pastures elsewhere, and not always for the reasons one may assume (though being in the midst of a bevy of Brazilian chicas certainly doesn’t hurt). The documentary, which was a kind of “response” to a series of articles written in Essence magazine (who also employed Lucas at one time, I might add) – the Black Woman publication of record for some four decades running - on the supposed epidemic of craven sex-tourism run amok among Black Men, had Sistas from coast to coast up in arms and green with envy – how dare those Brothas not only Go Their Own Way, but to actually have an opinion about Black Women back home, and to make comparisons to the ladies they encountered in foreign lands to boot? What nerve! (Of course, Sistas who choose to try their hand at getting the “Boyfriend Experience” abroad is seen as empowering; Sex Tourism for me, but not for thee, dontcha know.)
All of this tallies well with the best “official” estimates and “studies” taken, where organized mating events, known as “meet markets” among upscale, college-educated, white-collar professional Black folks, reveals a Sista to Brotha ratio of as much as 7 to 1(!), with no end in sight. The reasons why such a state of affairs persists, is simple – but not easy to countenance, let alone directly and bluntly communicate to the Sistahood, especially if your bread and butter depends on keeping them happy. These events, and many others along these lines, have been afoot in Black America, for decades – once again confirming, that Black Men are the sharp end of the Manosphere spear.
Beckys of the world, are you taking notes?
Why it Matters
As I’ve noted elsewhere, human beings are extraordinarily sensitive to what scientists have referred to as the effective sex ratio of males to females in any given locality; both sexes have evolved “software” psychologically to fine tune their awareness of the abundance or dearth of available mates of the opposite sex in any given environment, and to tailor their mating tactics accordingly. I’ve also said, that in scenarios where there are markedly more of one sex than another, we can expect the more abundant sex to make more exaggerated displays that the opposite sex would find desirable. For example, one study was done in two cities in the state of Georgia, where it was found that the city with more Men than Women went into more debt buying homes, cars and credit card purchases – all signs of resources Women are drawn to in potential mates, especially long(er) term; whereas, in those environs where there are markedly more Women to Men (like NYC, or my hometown of Philly), as has long been the case in Black America, the Sistas there are more prone to show more skin, wear tighter clothing, offer sex quicker and get into catfights with other Women over Men. With more and more Brothas slowly but inexorably dropping out due to perverse incentives on offer to Sistas on the one hand, coupled with tremendous disincentives when it comes to Brothas on the other, we can safely predict these and related behaviors to continue unabated for the forseeable future.
MGTOWs – their very (non)existence matters greatly to Women, for precisely the aforementioned reasons – because they know and understand intuitively, that the more Men who dropout, the less likely they will be to pair off and find a mate. Even when most Women are primed to search for Mr. Big, the chances of that happening lessens with fewer Men overall on the mating grounds – and the harder it is to lock one down on the off chance said Mr. Big is in attendance, due to so many more Women also being in attendance. Add this to the other ways in which the “Men strike” impacts society for the everyday Woman – fewer “nice guys” around to hold doors open, let ladies in front of them in shops or on buses and trains; assist them with varying things over the course of a day; plummeting social capital in local communities (like the Black one, for example), to say nothing of an ongoing Mancession coupled with more Men voluntarily leaving the worlds of work and school as we’ve previously known it, and it all makes sense as to why we see so much insistence on Men “Manning Up” in our time, especially coming more and more, from Women themselves. With more and more Men now being documented as dropping out of just about every area of American life, it can be safely said that the MGTOW arm of the Manosphere, truly is the Silent Kill.
MGTOWs of The World, Unite!
For the diehard holdouts out there, deeply entrenched in their denial about these things, please allow me to disabuse you of said denial by informing you that what we’re talking about here ain’t local – it’s a global phenomenon. In fact, as faraway as Japan(!), MGTOWism has risen to the top of the social agenda, to such an extent that it is seen as a concern of national security. Checkout this documentary by the BBC, called “No Sex, Please; We’re Japanese” and see the cold- hard facts for yourself. Sure, we’re not Japanese, and all that – but the underlying themes are there, nonetheless – in one of the world’s most prosperous nations, the only non-White country in the original G7 lineup. Consider the fact that here too in the States, marital rates are at all time lows, along with birth rates, especially for the upwardly mobile crowd (indeed, we are now seeing dysgenic breeding/mating patterns in the lower depths of American life, Black, White, and Other, alike), and video games like the latest iteration of Grand Theft Auto made more money, and in a shorter amount of time no less, than Summer blockbusters like Iron Man 3, Man of Steel, the Twilight series or The Hunger Games.
Think on that for a moment. Yes, ladies, you can be replaced…not by a fleshlight, “sexbot” or even a blow-up doll - but a console. At least the Japanese guys are still interested in girls, albeit virtual ones. Dudes here in the USA? We’d rather play shoot em up.
What all of this comes down to, again, is incentives; and as any student of human behavior knows well, change the incentives, and you change the behavior. What Women in our time, of any color, need to be asking themselves, is what is it about our time that has so many Men heading for the proverbial exits? But to do that kind of deep soul-searching questioning of the status quo, one must first deeply question their assumptions about human nature in general, and Male nature in particular. Most Women wrongly assumed that their “Magical Hoo-Hoo’s” will make a Man do almost anything to get inside it – the MGTOWs are proving that assumption, wrong. Just as human beings are sensitive to things like sex ratios, so too are they sensitive to incentives, or the distinct lack thereof, and act/respond accordingly. Women in our time need to understand, that so long as Men rightly perceive themselves to receive increasingly diminishing returns on their “Manning Up”, more and more of them will say “no thanks” and simply Drop Out.
Be afraid, ladies. Be very, very afraid.
Now adjourn your arses…