Hello everyone,
It’s that time once again to feature our guest writer for Just Four Guys, and this week is someone who’s been in the guest spot before – lady reader/commenter Ms. Liz, who offers some timely advice to the more mature ladies out there so as to get their “girl game” on track. While the primary focus here at J4G is on Men’s Issues, from time to time we’ll feature a lady writer whom we think says something worthwhile for everyone to hear. Ms. Liz is one of those lady writers.
Let’s face it: not only is the American population getting older, but this is true throughout the world; per Al Gore’s book “The Future: Six Drivers Of Global Change”, babies born today can expect lifespans exceeding 120 years on average(!). Very soon – within our lifetimes in fact – 50 will be the new 30. The times are a’changin'; and we all must change with it. Getting older doesn’t have to mean gettting worse – life CAN be good, IF you know how to work it. That, is the focus of Ms. Liz’s column today.
Ms. Liz brings quite a bit of experience to the fore in this regard: successfully and happily married for several decades to a US military fighter pilot, mother of several sons and a career nurse, she knows what it takes to make a marriage work and how to keep the spark going over the longrun – no small feat in our days and times to be sure. She’s also one of the relative few “Red Pill Ladies” around in our time; her words merit a close and careful reading. To whom it applies, take heed.
Give it up everyone for Ms. Liz!
I read an interview with Lauren Hutton several years ago (early 90s, I think). I don’t remember the exact context of the article, only the following account of the moment she realized she had lost a good portion of her “sex appeal”:
She was walking with her niece in an outdoor mall area and all the men were turning to stare at them “as usual”…until her niece ducked into a store and she continued walking on. No more stares of intrigue and interest. She’d suddenly vanished into the crowd….until her niece caught up and then “she” was interesting to look at again. It was at that moment Lauren realized the men were looking at her niece and not her.
Hat tip to Farm Boy, for providing a link to the following article, entitled ‘Women begin feeling invisible to men when they turn 51’.
I found this part particularly telling:
“The women claimed their confidence plummeted after hitting 50 and blamed greying hair, having to to wear glasses or even struggling to find fashionable clothes.”
I definitely hate aging as much as anyone, but a woman does not have to age like a frumpy trout. While no one is untouched by father time, the above things are easily fixed. Dye the gray hair if it bothers you. Hair can be transforming…get a style and color that work for your face. Wear contacts if the glasses bother you (though I have a pair of glasses that look quite nice when I chose to wear them… glasses can actually look pretty hot). If you don’t look good in fashionable attire, lose weight.
Being and staying fit and trim is the absolute best way to look good as you age. Being in good shape will put you ahead of 90 percent of your age cohort. Too often women don’t seem to get this. Instead, they get fat and try to compensate by buying a nice pair of earrings or crazy fake nails, or something else men don’t even usually notice. (Editor’s Note: In the Black community, this is easily seen in the proliferation of the above, as well as “hair hats” - lacefront wigs, hair extensions and the like, that obese Black Women use as if that offsets the fact that they’re obese. Whew!)
It’s worth repeating that simply not being fat is incredibly helpful in every respect. I’ll use an example from my home. Just tonight, my husband opened a pint of Haagan Daz peanut butter and chocolate and about half of the peanut butter was eaten (my bad). He actually thought it was cute I’d eaten the peanut butter (“aw, that’s cute…you thieved the peanut butter”). If I were fat, by contrast, it would have grated on him and rather than viewing it as a cute, girlish thing to do he’d have thought, “fat bitch ate the peanut butter”.
A few additional thoughts (dos and don’ts):
Do: Value yourself. Eat right, exercise, try to get enough rest. Rest is crucial, and I recommend de-stressors like yoga and meditation (for everyone, not just women). Whiten your teeth. There are a lot of over-the counter treatments that work wonders these days and a good-looking mouth and nice smile make a big impact.
Do: Dress well. Know what colors work for you and what fashions look flattering, and stick to those. Use a good moisturizer. Makeup can be important but keep it more natural…bright clashy makeup doesn’t compliment a woman as she ages.
Do: Be pleasant and courteous. Live in the present rather than the past. Men generally like upbeat and happy. They do not want to hear a rundown on the ex and all the awful baggage one has carried around in life…at least not initially.
Don’t: Try to be twenty. Twenty is past. Even twenty year olds only get away with acting twenty because they are twenty. Kind of like toddlers are expected to crap their pants, if you’re uber hot and twenty you can be a twit and dress like a tart. It’s not typically ever actually becoming (with a couple of exceptions for paid professionals), but people will overlook it.
Quickly after age twenty, twenty-year-old behavior and trashy dress start to lose luster for the actor/wearer. And past forty (even if you’re a very well kept forty) you’ll only succeed in looking like you should have a starring role in show business…as the hysterical, irrational comic relief. Don’t be that woman.
Don’t: wave around useless degrees like a badge of honor. I’m reminded of the town cougar who waves her doctorate in art in every man’s face the moment she meets him. That and ten bucks will get her a combo platter at the local bbq shack. Next!
Don’t: Overdo botox or plastic surgery. Botox can be overdone far before one has a frozen face a la Renée Zellweger. As a person’s face ages it starts to sag as well as wrinkle. Paralyzing the muscles that cause expression (especially in the forehead) to eliminate those wrinkles can also paralyze the muscles the hold that forehead up (a dermatologist told me this). Moderation is key. And we all know bad plastic surgery stories. Use caution there. One can either age poorly, age gracefully, or get creepy. Creepy is worst of the three.
Suggested further reading, in case you missed it:
Girl Game is so Simple and Yet so Hard
Boom!–there it is, folks. You’ve read Ms. Liz’s take on this here thing; now it’s time you have your say. What do you make of her offering? Speak on it! And don’t forget: if you want to be a guest writer for J4G, just hit us up at the “Contact Us” button, or reach yours truly direct at theobsidianfiles@hotmail.com!
I think the part about losing weight/not being fat is basically The Brady Rule for women- there’s practically no end to the shit good looking chicks can do and say that’s cute or funny coming from them, but insufferable coming from a land whale.
“Dye the gray hair if it bothers you.”
Maybe to better-looking shades? And how many? (You know where I’m going with this…) 50 shades of gray? [Ba-Dum]
Skin moisturizer is VERY important. Also, protect your skin from the sun as much as possible. Tanning young creates age spots later.
Am I the only one that gets a chuckle from women complaining about being invisible after so many years? Hurts the ego, huh?
Welcome to a man’s world.
Tagging…
O.
#1
There are particular sex differences though. Publicly saying or even insinuating that a particular woman might not be able to pull the kind of man she wants due to being too old or overweight (i.e. not being hot enough) is considered taboo and extremely offensive, especially when a man does it (and women almost never do it anyway, because they don’t want to incur the wrath of the sisterhood by rocking the boat). This doesn’t apply when the sexes are reversed. Plus such a woman can easily get validation and moral support from white knights and manginas if she voices her complaints. Again, this doesn’t apply when the sexes are reversed.
“babies born today can expect lifespans exceeding 120 years on average”
[Debbie Downer]Yet another area where the law of diminishing returns applies. The closer to “hard limit” of lifespan, the more prior effort required. People in general seldom think so far ahead, and even if, other concerns have higher priority. Some changes, like accumulation of AGEs, are practically irreversible.[/Debbie Downer]
#6
What generally goes unmentioned is that an increase in lifespan doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be productive and healthy for a longer period. It can mean you’ll get to live 10-15 years more as a frail, sickly man needing constant care. It’s not like we have better genes – we have better drugs and healthcare, mostly. Let’s suppose your grandfather was a welder who retired at 50 and died at 65. You’re also a welder and you’ll die at 80. That doesn’t mean you’ll be able to work as a welder until 65, or that you’ll be able to produce a prolonged erection when you’re 60 or so. The biological clock is a bitch.
@3
No chuckles here, but neither sympathy, empathy nor pity.
Tagging again…
O.
@HH 7:
I know this is a topic that is chockfull of Schadenfrude (hope I spelled that right, my bad if not; it’s been a long time since my 6th grade German class!) for many of the fellas here, and on many levels I empathize; but the facts are NOT in your favor on this one, chief. Again, please read Gore’s book “The Future”. It’s all right there. Men and Women both in their latter 40s and beyond, are much like their counterparts in their 30s a century ago – or even a half century ago. Better overall life conditions – food, basic over the counter meds, to say nothing of more advanced medical procedures that were quite uncommon back in the day, improvements in environmental stuff, workplace improvements (I know quite a bit about this, since I’m a life-long Blue Collar Brotha and Trae Unionist)…I’m telling you, it’s just no comparison. An older gal can look magnitudes better than her counterpart of a century or a half century ago, pretty much all the way around, IF she takes care of herself. All the cards are in her favor.
Personally, and given the genetic situation of the males in my family tree, I’m on pace to live upwards of exceeding 100 years – and NOT a feeble 100 either. Even though I now walk with a cane, I’m A LOT more agile and quicker than the vast majority of Men who use one, and I am constantly asked why I carry a cane since I’m so young to be using one. Even the surgey that I had that brought about my need for a cane in the first place is something that, a century or half century ago, wouldn’t have gone done in the way it done, nor would my recovery would have been so quick, etc. There’s just no comparison along these lines, Man.
50 is going to be the new 30 in our lifetimes. Count on it.
O.
I think this problem of invisible women is the side effect of poor attitudes, the outright dismissal of what men find attractive. Liz lists the best topical remedies but none of them address the problem of believing Ira Glass …er….Rachel Maddow actually looks good, and that her look is somehow something to aspire to.
#1 yes. But. Consider the differences between the genders in “getting in shape”. Most women would have to merely eat not quite so much for a couple of months. (or, not eating at all for merely a couple of weeks). In contrast, most men would have to work out hard for many hours a week for a couple of years.
@JF12 12:
Yes, you make a legit point – simply put, and Women really need to hear this, the bow ain’t that high for them in terms of losing weight and getting in shape when compared to Men, precisely due to what Men desire in Women and the fact that for many Men, that bar ain’t that high. So, if a Woman goes for say, losing two dress sizes – for sake of argument she goes from 16 to 14 – trust me, it WILL make a huge difference in terms of her desirability. Deti had up a really good post on this that I tried to find but couldn’t; calling Deti…calling Deti…please post up the link…
The other thing I really like about Ms. Liz’s post here is that the things she advises for the ladies are ACHIEVEABLE. They are within rreach of EVERY older gal (“older” being defined, in my view, as 35 and up), no matter where she falls on the SES scale. Every gal can work with her hair. Every gal can get simple OTC stuff to deal with skin and teeth. Every gal can either get better specs and/or contacts. Every gal can get in shape/lose some weight. And every gal can work on a pleasing, feminine demeanor and ladylike attitude, not just with regard to Men but overall in life. Every gal can get a flattering, feminine wardrobe (ladies, dresses work…ladies, dresses work…ladies, dresses work…).
Nor does what Ms. liz advise take years to pull off either – it can be done in a matter of months, if not less. So yea BP is onto something with the Ira Glass/Rachel Maddow thing, no dis to ether of them, but I’m just saying though.
O.
#7 my friend Wormy is a boilermaker in his 70s, still on call to crawl into confined spaces (e.g. worming his way into pipes) to weld. And for me at age 64 let’s just say they’re prolonged enough.
The next observation may be related to changes in the aging male that compensate for changes in the aging (“seasoned”) female. I haven’t heard it discussed elsewhere. Although obviously almost all of the prostate problems in aging males are due to their wives’ unilateral enforcement of decreased sexual frequency, some of the enlargement is inevitable even in males who have frequent enough, uh, outlets. I’m relatively certain that at least a portion of the enlargement is for the male to produce extra fluids in order to compensate for the female’s decreased fluids.
#13 it seems like it would be so easy to be a woman, if a woman wanted to be pleasing to a man.
#8 just benign neglect, eh?
Re: gray hair, glasses, and weight. I can’t be the only one who can appreciate, even prolongedly, the Mrs. Claus look. NOT the dumpy weight, the curvy weight, obviously. Just saying, the refrain for today, “that bar ain’t that high.”
@JF12:
Wrt the prostate thing, I definitely think you’re onto something there; the average Man replenishes his nutsac with someting like a million sperm an hour. That’s some seriously backed up plumbing if he doesn’t get a chance to relieve himself! So, yea, if a Man’s partnered up and his Woman don’t put out on the regular, there’s a serious problem. In fact, I intend to address, probably next month since I’ve got another interview post coming up at the end of the month, so definitely stay tuned on this point we’re discussing now. As far as I’m concerned, a Woman not putting out in a timely AND enthusiastic fashion is grounds for breach of contract and hence dismissal. I’m just saying.
O.
Being in good shape is the key for an older woman.
There is a woman who sits in the cubicles area in front of my office — a secretary. She’s in her early 40s — I’ll guess 43 or so. She’s had a few kids (2 I think). She’s also a complete fitness fanatic — every single day’s lunch is spent in the corporate gym, and on weekends she does other fitness-oriented activities as well (she tells us about them during group outings and so on). Now, you can still tell she is in her 40s from looking at some tell-tale age signs (hands, neck, closer look at face, makeup levels and so on), but her physique is in the top 5-10% of women her age, and, frankly, in the top 20% of women overall of any age. No, she doesn’t have the same “freshness” as a woman of 20, and that makes a difference, but she has a very tight, sexy physique and is quite physically attractive, even compared with many women who are younger than her (and she knows how to wear clothes that remind you how much she works on her body without looking trashy).
Now, she has loads of other issues that make her a very uninteresting target for an LTR (recently frivorced only a few years after she and ex-H upgraded the home bigtime, which of course she got in the divorce, single mother, very you-go-grrl attitude and so on), but from the physical attraction perspective, she has it going on, as they say. All has to do with her physique. Takes her a lot more work to look the way she does at ~43 than it did at 24, no doubt, but she puts in the work as if it were her God, and it shows.
@16
I guess, really more of a “not my problem” situation. I wasn’t their problem at any point in the past. Besides they spent their youths wishing they were as invisible to me as I was to them, so wishes do come true. (insert smilie thing here)
@Nova:
Hey Man! Glad to see ya. I had seen some of your comments in previous convos here, but didn’t have the chance to holla at ya. When you get a chance, hit me up at theobsidianfiles@hotmail.com – I wanna holla at you about something.
OK, so onto your comment: you know you hit on a POWERFUL point about the neck thing. I call it Turkey Neck (gobble gobble) and Fatback Neck (Rachel Jeantel comes to mind). Also Man Hands, Frankenstein Hands, Hands of Stone, Iron Mike Tyson Hands, and Michelin Man Hands with all the fat around the wrists and fat fingers and whatnot. This is another reason as to why the ladies should be diligent about keeping the weight off (and NO, that does NOT mean you trying to be a size 0; I will be discussing this in a future post, so stay tuned). Me, I like a Woman with a well-defined face and nape of neck – no “gobble” and no Fatback. And the hands gotta be on point – I’ve worked with my hands all my life and they look a lot better than many of the Sistas’ I’ve seen – sheesh! And they think just putting some acrylics on em is gonna do the trick – uh-uh. Soak them things in some Palmolive, sis!
Now let’s discuss the feet situation – there’s a lot of ladies out there that know they shouldn’t be “toes out” you know what I’m saying? Talk about Hammer Time. And the Ronald McDonald/Shaq feet – no go. Gotta do something to minimize that. The heels be looking like crusty old bread, you know what I’m saying? I see lots of this sort of thing outon the bricks on the daily, and let me tell you, it’s NOT appealing in the least. I would much rather have a Woman working with her own, short neat nails but have very attractive looking hands and feet, than a chica who’s got the Hands of Stone and can cover the entire Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in like six steps. Barefoot. Like Bigfoot.
I’m just saying…
O.
#20
http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Somebody_Else's_Problem_field
I just had an epiphany myself. The reason nerds are invisible is because each woman thinks some other woman ought to appreciate the nerds, and thus because she knows some other woman should, then she herself doesn’t have to.
#10
It’s Schadenfreude.
As far as the topic on hand is concerned, it probably has to do a lot with social class. As far as I can see, and deduct from information one can get from the media, the health situation of rank and file people Western people is pretty much terrible. Sedentary lifestyles, horribly bad diets, chemical pollution, the obesity epidemic, drug use (both legal and illegal) all contribute to it. Not to mention that the use of contraceptives screw women up hormonally, and the slut lifestyle is hard on their health. Medical procedures and medications are a different issue – they save more lives than before, but they don’t make people healthier. It’s true that a lot more people died due to preventable causes in the old days, but the ones who didn’t were healthier. It’s also true that women, mostly working class women, used to age terribly, but they didn’t delay pregnancy and marriage, so it simply didn’t matter.
@jf12 14
“female’s decreased fluids”
YMMV
I suspect that the man’s desirability has something to do with this. The more your SMV is above your wife’s, the greater her desire, I expect.
@ O
“As far as I’m concerned, a Woman not putting out in a timely AND enthusiastic fashion [not like a dead fish] is grounds for breach of contract and hence dismissal.”
Hear, hear.
#18 yes, there’s the prostate thing, but then there’s the seminal vesicles which produce a lot of luid. And, importantly, the epididymis. Almost all “backed up sperm” problems are in the epididymis, the place where sperm mature. One thing I’ve noticed about the lower-hangingness due to aging is the relative overabundance of tissue, presumably epididymal, northward of each testicle. Whether it’s because of typcially increased storage time or the need of each aging sperm to train harder and longer to grow up properly, I don’t know.
@23
Living a community that’s 65% hispanic nuevo americanos I can attest to the visible differences in appearance based on diet and culture. Anglo women don’t age as gracefully as their counterparts from Eastern Europe, the Mediterranean, or South America. I think it’s a cultural vanity where these women are following Liz’s advice by default. As well the diets are better quality as evidenced by observing what is in their grocery carts.
Very often I see pairs of women obviously mother and daughter where the mother is only visibly older by style of dress, and a few more wrinkles. Otherwise they could be mistaken for sisters.
#24 I think it’s totally age i.e. hormones. My first wife was copious; the wet spot was the whole bed every time. My last wife was still very fluid until menopause, but since then, the past dozen years or so, not much (although a little) self lubrication.
@HH 23:
Thanks for the correct spelling! I was hoping you would help me out.
And yea, you do make some very good points about the preventability (is that a word?) of the health problems in our time; indeed in the Black community, the vast majority of the problems can be prevented strictly on the basis of lifestyle: cancer, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure/hypertension, et al, ALL off them are nearly 100% preventable. And they go right to many of the points Ms. Liz makes in her post today, in fact.
1. Don’t smoke
2. Don’t do drugs
3. Don’t drink alcohol
4. Don’t overeat
5. Don’t eat crap food
6. Exercise (which includes things like walking several miles a day, doing house/yardwork daily, etc.)
If a Black person, Man or Woman alike, simply did the above, their lifespan, as well as their overall QUALITY of life, would exponentially increase. That’s not even including the improvements on the medical side, et al that we discussed earlier. And of course, it goes a long way toward physical attractivenensss for both sexes, but especially insofar as the ladies are concerned.
I have a bud who I do house rehabbing/maintenence with. He used to work in Finance but got fed up with all the BS that we often discuss in the ‘sphere – and he doesn’t know about said ‘sphere, is a Brotha, and doesn’t even know I blog(!). He took his pennies and began investing in rental properties and “flipping” houses that he gets from Sherriff’s Sales. He and I hangout a lot and discuss many of the very topics that are often discussed here and throughout the ‘sphere.
So anyway, the other day he was telling me about this Sista he used to work with when he was still in the Finance world; she was a front desk receptionist or something. Always complained about not being able to lose weight – but she told my bud that SHE ATE A QUART(!!!) OF RITA’S WATER ICE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED(!!!!!!!).
WTF?!?!?! Is she kidding me or something?
My bud explained to her the main, perhaps sole reason as to why she isn’t losing any weight is due to her “night ritual”. You know what she said to him in response?
That she didn’t consider “water ice” to be food.
?!?!?!?!
This is the kind of stuff us Brothas are up against in the Black community, fellas.
It is not pretty.
O.
Obs@10 “I am constantly asked why I carry a cane since I’m so young to be using one ..”
It’s OK, there’s just us in here. ‘Fess up, it’s a swordstick, right?
@21 :- “I would much rather have a Woman working with her own, short neat nails but have very attractive looking hands and feet”
Ow. That’s another one that hits my “Dive, Dive!” klaxon. Nosferatu hands.
@Tam 30:
LOL – you know what? A lot of people ask that question, or something similar: “you’re a young guy to be carrying a cane – is it a weapon?”. I get that a lot, and on some level that’s a good thing, as I’ve seen knuckleheads look at me and then the cane and kind of shift their glance. Don’t wanna take a chance on getting clocked (or worse), right?
Better to move on to an easier mark.
But to answer your question – nah, no “hidden surprises” in my canes (I have a collection of them, and growing); I’ve written about it here: http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/132388/
Let me know what you think!
O.
@Tam:
Here’s a followup post I wrote to the one I linked to above on canes and self-defence: http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/133944
Again, let me know your thoughts!
O.
#27 re: Latinistas. My wife is reminiscent of Linda Ronstadt physically, for better or for worse. But she sounds like a younger Sela Ward, a voice of honey instead of caramel.
#33 I carried a stick for over a decade after destroying my right leg and pelvis in a wreck. After recuperating for some months, I rolled around for another six months, later taking all twelve weeks of my paid physical therapy to wean me to crutches. Then I did crutches with the original brace until that brace broke for the last time, and I sprung for a really expensive brace that lasted a couple of years, wearing all day except in bed, until it became too tore up and scuzzy, at which point my knee and ankle were frozen anyway. I had graduated to a store-bought cane by then, which wasn’t to my satisfaction. Most of my sticks were handmade from tree limbs: oak, hickory, osage (a memorably heavy cudgel), rosewood, etc., and I gave a number of them away to others.
@JF12:
Wow, I didn’t know you made walking sticks, canes etc. Don’t know if you’re still in the “business” but if you are let me know, maybe you could do one up special for the O-Man…
Thanks either way
O.
Liz, one minor note on your fine discussion.
I think it’s important for the mature woman to have a defined and recognizable style.
She’s a well-traveled, well-educated woman of the world, after all. I always admire a girl who says, “I wear Hudson jeans, I wear La Perla, I wear Louboutins, I wear Chanel #19. I like the Hilton, I eat filet mignon, I want my man in a Ford half-ton, I sleep in longjohns from Walmart, that is who I am.” A benefit of maturity is that we get to decide what has worked, and just say WTF? to further experimentation; we say, “I don’t care. I like this brand of shoes. They rebuild them for me when I wear them out. I’m tired of throwing things away.”
#36 if I happened to be up in Philly I might hand you one, but they’re not worth shipping. I have several in the garage for walking around the neighborhood, mostly to keep strange dogs off (familiar dogs want me to throw the stick, so they get chewed up). I considered doing one of those doorknob handles, but usually just wrap the grip (e.g. leather). I don’t do jaunty; mine all tend to be slightly more towards staff (with upward-bent arm) than cane (leaning down).
@JF12:
Understood; don’t think I could make a full-on Little John staff work, LOL. And yea, having a stick/cane is indeed excellent for keeping the little critters at bay should the need arise.
Late last night I went out to get a grub, and on the way to the mini-mart I saw a possum about ten feet away from me; didn’t have to worry, he scurried away from me with the quickness. Philly’s got LOTS of possums, coons, you name it running around. In fact in my neighborhood, the coons ain’t no joke; they rifle through your trash looking for food, and won’t care if you’re right there watching them do it. Coons in Da Hood, for real, LOL.
O.
Re: women with canes. Back to topic. Would I be put off by an older woman’s use of a cane? I would not, but I wonder why so very many women, compared to men, do not use canes. Is it merely vanity?
Nice post Liz!
I turned 51 three weeks ago, and yes I have experienced disappearing when I’m walking with my 22yr. old daughter. They are definitely looking at her and not me, but it’s kinda fun to be the fly on the wall watching the culture particularly how young people interact, or more often, don’t interact. This post reminded me about another post on TheRulesRevisted by Andrew which he discussed what message your mother’s physical appearance sends to guys. The post is titled What Your Boyfriend Notices About Your Mother. Ladies, we not only have a responsibility to our husbands and ourselves, but also to our daughters and our sons as an example of true femininity.
Something else that happens at 50 is what you hear many women say, “I finally feel comfortable with myself.” For me that meant an even greater ability to remain true to my own self and be even less influenced by the heard mentality. I have so much more mental energy an losing the restrictions placed by the heard has freed me to start a group for middle school girls that talks about issues that affect them and teaches them to critically evaluate the messages they hear from the media.
I agree with you O. Our extended life span is making us rethink the established patterns of our lives and possibly reinforcing the more innately established ones such as having kids when you’re young. I am referencing the study done about older fathers and the quality of offspring.
re #33 ; “Also, unlike the Irish Blackthorn, hook canes, to the minds of most people walking around, are still associated with the sick, the elderly and the infirm -“
My thinking also. When hedging against that evil day when I can no longer Run Like Fuck Away (RLFA), my preferred tactic, I check thrift shops not only for hi-class dead-mens’ apparel which I can tote around for a few years (until it gets checked back into the Oxfam shop for the usual reason
), but coffin-dodger-style walking sticks in NHS-issue style like those on the right here, rubber ferrule and all. I’m not proud ..
At least as thick as my thumb, which feminist propagandists claim was the legal maximum with which an Englishman could beat his wife. (Lies! A barbaric custom, unheard of among my people. Miners. Their “law” was carried round their remarkably trim waists and had a buckle the size of a horse-brass on it).
“Peacocking”-type canes will definitely draw a constabulary eye sooner or later, and “sus” law hasn’t ever really gone away round here. I’ve been ‘huckled’ for having a keyring in the shape of a 4″ brass safety-pin when stop/searched (21st present, thankful to have a legitimate excuse to never take the damn’ ugly thing out of the drawer ever again). Our provincial PTB are obviously shit-scared of .. something.
#3 A whole lot of women, maybe the majority, complain when younger about way too much sexual attention from too many men. “Why can’t someone be interested in ME without being interested in my sex? Why can’t I be seen as just a PERSON?” Then it finally happens, and they’re shocked, shocked I tell you, that the grass on the other side really is as dry and brown as everyone on the other side always said.
@jf12 40,
Yes it is vanity. I sell hearing aids and you would be surprised at the level of vanity that goes on for both men and women between 60 and 85!
What I hear most often.
“I want one of those small ones that no one can see.”
4” ? 4 in. ? one hundred and four millimetres ?
It didn’t like the single quotemark for some reason.
Gotta go. The Hillsborough Memorial Service is finishing up and they’re singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone”.
@Er Indoors will be on the blower shortly and need calming down, I suspect.
#44 I want one of those big ones that sticks way out!
#29
Yeah, I suppose one can teach the downtrodden to avoid self-destructive habits. One tried and tested method for this is to give them – or we should say make them earn – a sense of pride and stable identity, when they feel needed, important and having life prospects.
Seriously, I wonder about men’s vanity. It seems to me if he thought he needed it then a man wouldn’t have much qualms installing a satellite dish on top of his head. The hard part, I think, would be convincing a man he needed it. “I can hear practically perfect out of my right ear, honey. There no sense in me getting one just for my left.” Plus, in choosing brands, there’s the plausible deniability factor. A man wouldn’t want the best one guaranteed to work, because he’d like to be able to tune out and zone out while blaming malfunction or something.
Great post Liz! I agree w Obsidian too, much of looking good over time involves eating well, exercising, and being healthy, a double win. I agree w you too Liz re Botox and such. I attend a garden club w ladies much older than me and some have aged gracefully while others are starting to look like some kind of plastic surgery gone wrong ad. It seems once they go there they can’t stop and it just looks weird, not good. Watching ones weight and dressing with style is good too. Nothing is less flattering than a frumpy “I give up” look, short hair, grandma pants, no fit or style. And, as you say Liz, be age appropriate. I see a lot of women with teens try to wear the same fashions as their daughters and it just doesn’t look right. For much of my younger years I purposely played down my looks bc of that false thinking of “nobody will take me serious if I look pretty.” Luckily I have given that up. And people still take me serious, perhaps even more so, for it. Who knew? I also agree that with age comes confidence, I will never be 21 again but oddly feel more comfortable in my skin now than I ever have!
The fact of happiness seems significantly correlated with SMV charts. Like their libido, women’s happiness hits a wall at 30 and falls off the cliff at menopause. In contrast, the typical young man’s chronic sexual dissatisfaction, and maybe his rising SMV, is probably the main driver behind men getting happier as they get older.
Anke C. Plagnol and Richard A. Easterlin. “Aspirations, attainments, and satisfaction: Life cycle differences between American women and men”.
Journal of Happiness Studies. 9(4), pp. 601-619 (December 2008).
I think a smile is all the makeup a woman needs.
@jf12 not all women dread aging. The years after 50 can be some of her most productive, actually. No longer focused on having and raising children, a woman in this age group can give to her community etc. the “crone” years can be among a woman’s best and most powerful. In our youth worshiping culture, many women miss this as they fight the sands of time and try to look and act 20 rather than accept every age and stage in life is worthy. Even the little old lady stage, after the crone stage.
#51 I agree. I also agree that a LOT of older women are literally glad, not sad, that they’re “through with all that”. Unfortunately for their men.
In my still limited but growing experiences with older women, the happiest ones, besides obviously being the ones most vivacious and most engaged in activities, are the ones that do not want a man to share their lives.
jf12 @48
Well from my experience the biggest reluctance to buy hearing aids for our oldest population is still the stigma of being infirmed. There is also the effect of Accommodation to a hearing loss, the difficulty that comes with learning something new at an advanced age and price.
But technology and the embracing of “victimology” has made selling aids to anyone under 60 a breeze, again the only negative factor $.
How cool is it that I can link hearing aids to your IPhone.
Bloom @51
Couldn’t agree more.
Ah, older women. I see a lot of hot ones here in OC. They work out, keep toned, and take care of themselves. Avoid excessive sun. Another tip for older women: trim it, but don’t shave it.
@PP2:
You know, never thought of myself needing a hearing aid, but if I had to choose one, yea, it’d be one of those Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible type ones, you know, that fits in your ear? I’m not doing the big clunky thing. Uh-uh.
As for Women with Canes…hmm, very good point. Never thought about until now, but I think Men have an easier go of it in this area than Women do. It’s kinda hard to “sex up” a cane for a lady the way it is for a Man (see previous mini-discussion I and some other gents had about this upthread). I mean yeah, I’ve seen the floral print ones and the like that they make for the Golden Girls crowd, but…
So, yea, I can see how that could be problematic. And for a relatively younger gal, I can see how it could be potentially worse. Not sure I have any hard and fast answers there; anybody have any thoughts on this?
O.
@LBF 54:
Hear, hear! I mean I get the current trend of everything downstairs being smooth as a baby’s bottom and all that, but to me it kinda freaks me out a little bit – like I’m dealing with a pre-pubscent girl or something. Some nice grooming down there is cool, but the whole thing being gone? Not exactly my steez, but to each their own.
O.
O.
To some degree the size of the aid depends on your loss.
Just keep the earbuds/headphones at no more than 75 dB for more than an hour.
Wear protection when operating any loud equipment.
If you’re in a band, get some Musician’s Ears.
The average price of mid range quality aids, 5K.
I’m in agreement with the points Ms. Liz and Ms. Bloom make in reference to a number of points on the physical appearance tip. For example, yes, Chicks with Glasses can be very sexy, IF they work it right. I know some ladies may not want to hear this, but this is where Porn (read: for straight guys) comes into play. Spend a bit of time looking up the “Mature” and “MILF” categories on sites like XVideos.com and XHamster.com or PornHub.com, for starters – note how many of the gals in those videos wear glasses. It conveys a mature, “schoolmarm” or “sexy librarian” look (also: a Woman in some kind of authoritative position – teacher, boss at work, etc.). Very helpful if you’re in the market for younger guys especially.
I wouldn’t even go in for prescription frames; I would try out some “dummy frames” that approximate the ones I might buy and just field test them out and see what kind of reactions from guys I would get. Whichever one gets me the most fever, that’s the ones I would cop on the prescription tip.
Same deal with hair – one way to try out a lot of stuff without doing anything to your own hair right off, is to get some wigs. Try out which looks look best for you, and if you can, test them out on the street and see which ones get the most attention from the fellas. Then, roll with that as your primary hairstyle.
I know this one’s kinda pricey, but Sephora. Hit em up. They got it all: makeup, hair stuff, skin stuff, they even got a Men’s section, which is where I go from time to time when I got a frew extra ends to burn (in case anyone’s listening: Farenheit is my shot). Worth the trip and the money if you got it like that.
Back to porn: checkout how the MILFs and Mature ladies in the videos dress. Seriously, they often wear tasteful and attractive stuff. Remember, often these are “everyday scenario” type videos, so they’re not likely to be in hoochie wears or lingerie all the time, but rather stuff for the street. Check it out and see what works best for you, test it out and mark the results.
O.
@PP 57:
Gotcha. In my “previous life” in the Trades I wore lots of ear protection, and even though I’ve worn over the ear headphones going all the way back to my Hip Hop DeeJay days in highschool, I’ve never experienced any hearing problems. That was part due to being careful as you suggested, to protect my hearing.
But yea, if I had to go that route, I’m ponying up the 5K. Not wearing a clunker, Man.
Uh-uh.
O.
@HH 47:
Yup. All of these things we’re discussing CAN indeed be learned, and is not hard to do, if one approaches it correctly. I mean, just think of one focused on changing their lifestyle over the course of just one year? Gradually, you change your diet, started being more active (walking instead of driving everywhere, doing yardwork, etc.), tried out some new wears, etc? And you kept at that for just one year. Talk about a difference! And that’s exactly the approach that’s behind Game, by the way. So it can be done.
And as for jobs and whatnot, I’m all for it. Unfortunately, the powers that be can’t seem to get themselves together on that front to make things happen. Which is something I don’t get because it ain’t like it hasn’t been done before – FDR put Men and some Women to work with the WPA. Here in Philly, there’s trash everyone, abandoned houses that need rehabbing or demolition, tree branches and other forestry type debris that needs to be gotten rid of, etc. In other words, there’s LOTS of work that can be done, right here, and that can put people back on track. Even if it was only temp work – say, six months to a year – it still would do everyone a heck of a lot of good. Again, I just don’t see why they don’t make that happen. It’s beyond me.
O.
#57 I’ve got a 40 dB/decade high frequency rolloff in my bad ear (left) compared with “only” 20 dB in my good ear. I’m reasonably sure it’s mostly occupational, one thing being too near too many explosions.
jf12
I would recommend for that kind of loss an open fit in the left, not a RIE (receiver in ear.)
If you were in the military check with the VA. At least then I know my increased taxes will go for someone who will appreciate it.
Happy Tax Day!
That she didn’t consider “water ice” to be food.
?!?!?!?!
This is the kind of stuff us Brothas are up against in the Black community, fellas.
Don’t get all ethnic on us, here. It’s all over. Some time ago, trying to explain the first Ft. Hood shooting, I tried to explain to a female relative about soldiers not being armed. Her response, “I don’t believe it.”
And you ought to hear–you’d have to hear it not to believe it–what some of my greenie friends say when faced with, say, the earth’s temp is flatlined for the last seventeen years.
“I don’t believe it,” is just getting warmed up.
Ref canes: Thing about a cane is you have to keep track of it. So if you don’t need it, hauling one around is a chore. OTOH, hiking in the Smokies, I noted a half-dozen walking sticks–just stout limbs picked up about–stacked near each trail head. You take one up, bring it back down and leave it, along with any you might find looking useful. Point is, they’re useful in bad terrain.
I live sort of in the country and sometimes I think the border between two coyote packs runs near our back porch. Hell of a noise about three in the morning. So I am thinking about a fairly authoritative stick, dense enough to have some heft. Coyotes aren’t much threat to grownups, but mix with feral dogs and your grandkids and small pets could be at risk. And I’m old enough to be excused a large walking stick when out in the country.
Recall loading bats with lead as a kid. Even in shop class. Or a spike.
I’m 43, regularly use a cane and have a hearing aide. I hear nothing but positive feedback about the cane. Maybe it being an outstanding weapon lends something vs takes away? I don’t know why but nothing about a good stick speaks frail and feeble. Now those old man metal canes are a different critter.
The hearing aide, I hate that f#cker. It’s a kick to the balls and I only wear it for classroom type stuff. Which is weird really. I’m still nationally ranked as a powerlifter, earn my pay with a rifle etc but the hearing aide wipes all that out at a visceral level. Nonsense, right?
@ 12 I think some guys might be overstating the level of fitness required to be successful in the SMP. Every man I know at the upper limits of physical performance has been “disqualified” by women for it. Whatever works for a man with some women is likely to work against you with other women.
Trim, don’t shave.
Wear knee-length skirts, hose, and heels if you’re fit.
Keep your hair as long as it can be and still look thick.
#62 thanks for the info! I haven’t really paid attention to what my wife has been saying about these matters …
Vanity-wise, I went white half my lifetime ago, and have never felt any need to “do anything”. On the other hand, I’m getting a cataract (again I’m reasonably sure it’s mostly occupational, UV and other ionizing exposure from, uh, things), and I’m looking forward to lens replacements. A friend of mine recently got both his eyes done, one after the other, as soon as he turned 67. He had been extremely nearsighted, like I am, and now does not need glasses at all except for reading.
Obsidian.
Why not? Because the bennies the benny-getters get are owed. Ask any politician about that. And ask any benny-getter about the social stigma of being seen doing what you suggest.
Some years ago, working with a church youth group from the ‘burbs cleaning up a small urban park, I noticed something. I like to say we wore out one wheelbarrow hauling the trash, but it was only a flat tire. The second one lasted. Six bales of cartons to be opened up for trash. A stack of trash cartons on the curb for the city about sixty feet long and two cartons high.
Three sides of the park were flanked by houses. It was the old style where you have a front door and a side door. Looked to me as if the side door–where you would naturally take out the trash–was closer to the street than the park. But the trash got into the park. Three inches of broken glass on the tennis court.
Some people. And when there are enough of Some People, the rest of the people give up.
Aubrey, up your way a green hackberry stick would be very effective. I prefer “fairly authoritative” too, about two thumbs thick.
Hackberry is one of those woods that gets worse as it ages, unfortunately. But you can just “Next!” it.
Re: “nothing about a good stick speaks frail and feeble.” True, and aside when I was little and the cheap things my parents could afford would disintegrate at the first signs of trouble, my glasses could beat up your glasses. So, what is it about hearing aids and men? How come we aren’t looking at, like, Bose catalogs for hearing aid techno updates. “Look at these, dude! Full spectrum noise cancellation along with programmable digital voice recognition! You can choose who to listen to, and who not to!”
@ obsidian it would be in Philly’s best interest, according to Gladwell, author of Tipping Point. He looks at many phenom in the book including how New York turned things around. He said not fixing a broken window led to more broken windows, not cracking down on subway free riders encouraged more, not painting over gravity covered cars encouraged more, etc. and the reverse — fix the window, crack down on subway jumpers, paint over the graffiti and as the community improves, pride in that better community grows, and people become the better citizens they want to live among, Crime is reduced, quality of life goes up, etc. It’s an interesting read…
@ 12 I think some guys might be overstating the level of fitness required to be successful in the SMP. Every man I know at the upper limits of physical performance has been “disqualified” by women for it. Whatever works for a man with some women is likely to work against you with other women.
No doubt this is true, but that is probably a good thing.
First, “success” can be defined differently by different men.
That said, take a man who is at upper limit of physical performance. Who is more likely to automatically disqualify this man? The homely fattie or Plain Jane, or the hottie with the sleek legs, tight ass, and pretty face?
Who is more likely to disqualify the man who appears to be effortlessly working the crowd at the party? The nerdy wallflower girl in the corner, or the pretty woman also engaging the crowd?
Generally speaking, the women who would disqualify a man for being above average or near the top of a particular attraction attribute are going to be the same women that guy would have zero interest in anyways.
@Ms. Bloom:
Yes, I am very familiar with Mr. Gladwell’s work, and the Broken Windows theory by the late great James Q. Wilson was on the money. Look at what Rudy was able to accomplish in NYC by heeding Wilson’s words.
And I agree with you that we need that kind of understanding here in Philly with the quickness. BWT ain’t no joke. When a community or in this case a city shows it cares about itself, knuckleheads and crime etc, go down. Way, way down.
So, I say bring back the WPA. It works.
O.
@PP:
I have a question: you had said that the more advance types of hearing aids could be quite pricey. However, various forms of tech – like personal computers, cameras, even cell phones and flatscreen TVs – all of them have massively declined in price, even a half a decade ago.
Why hasn’t these more advanced hearing aids caught up with the trend in this way? I think your expertise in this area is highly educational, by the way. Never thought of the possibility that I might one day need a hearing aid so it’s given me something to think about, and definitely, I want the M:I one.
O.
@Sfcton:
My experience tracks precisely with yours insofar as canes go – never has been a problem, not with the ladies, not with anything. But then, as you noted, I don’t use an Old Fart(TM) cane either, and mine have distinctive features about them (basically they’re martial artist’s canes), so that could have something to do with it. I’ve been asked a lot as to whether my canes are weapons, given that I’m relatively young to be carrying them. But I’ve never taken a “hit” socially or otherwise for them. If anything, they’ve been seen as a net plus.
O.
@O I have been wondering the same myself…. Makes sense to me!
@Obsidian #33
Nice essay; I’m also a fan of the martial arts cane/hapkido cane. I don’t need to use it regularly, but some days (like today) my knee just does not appreciate the structural engineering marvel that is the staircase.
Also, if you were not aware, aside from FMA and hapkido, there’s a French martial art called savate that also makes extensive use of the cane for self defence.
@Tam 42:
You make an excellent point about knowing the laws concerning cane weapons in your local area. The UK has a completely different culture about these kinds of things than we do on this side of the Atlantic. Over there I can see how even my canes could raise an eyebrow, given that they have a “bamboo” look which recalls the look of martial artsfighting batons (read: Escrima). Here in the States the cops don’t bat an eye, but over there wher improvised weapons come into play much moreso than do guns, yea, I can see how the Bobbies could go you a hard way to go.
Do chaps over there still carry Irish Blackthorns over there, given all that you said? Are they still legal?
O.
@Sumo 76:
Hmm, I’ve heard of Savate, but never really investigated it…until now. Thanks for hipping me to its focus on cane apps! Gotta do some YouTube research on that and start incorporating some of its basic moves into my repetoire. I kind of have my own blend of MMA – some American Boxing, some FMA, some Aikido, some Greco-Roman style wrestling, a bit of KFM, and voila – Obsidian Style.
Now I can add a bit of Savate to the mix. Thanks again!
O.
Girl Game, the Mature Edition, is actually the same as when younger. As Rollo pointed out, girl game is all about getting *commitment*, not sexual attention. Older women may find it easier to play up their Quality features, and have less temptation to play up Slut features.
@Rich Aubrey:
I agree with the fellas on this: a guy your age and in the area you live could definitely make a larger (read: longer and thicker:) walking stick work. Whether you choose to carry one is completely up to you of course. But from a plausible deniability angle, definitely.
As for the Some People Problem: yea, I know what you mean. I wrote about that to some extent back with my piece “Black Men Must Stop Matiing With Ratchets”. And it IS a demographic, dysgenic problem as far as I am concerned – the not so good people are beginning to outnumber the people with some commonsense. It’s really getting out of control.
As for that Ft. Hood thing…wow…
O.
@JF12:
You know what, you make a very interesting point: Bose, oor any other high-end company – JBL, Cerwin Vega, heck Sony, even Beats by Dr. Dre – could conceiveably make a killing in the “high end deluxe hearing aid market” – designing and selling topnotch hearing aids to the fellas. I know I for one would be very interested in trying out a Beats in-ear hearing aid, or one be Bose. Think of the capabilities such an hearing aid could give you – say, 10X the hearing capacity of a normal human being or something like that! It would be bananas.
Where do I sign up?
O.
@Morpheus 71:
Excellently well-put. Plus, you’re mad Jacked, really big, lots of pounds and very tall, so I’m not gonna disagree with you.
O.
#81 maybe it’s because all of our grandpas’ hearing aids were such total junk, that we’re so biased. To bring up a previous example, if I had had to spend my entire adult life with the same junky kind of glasses I had when a kid, I might have plucked my eyes out instead.
I wonder if Practicallyperfect would share her thoughts about women and hearing aids. Women tend to suffer a lot less hearing loss than men, but of those women who need it, are women more or less likely to actually utilize hearing technology?
@Obsidian #78
No worries, man. Just a small effort to try to repay all the knowledge that you drop on us.
O.
The very first hearing aid cost 2,700.00 and the battery was the size of a suitcase.
So the price of hearing aids have basically remained the same while the quality has vastly improved.
One of the reason why they cost so much most of the R&D and production is done in countries like Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Germany and the US.
The aids are all digital and require software and programing, and custom aids (anything that fits in the ear) are just that custom made for each client.
One of the biggest cost is as I said earlier research, inside each aid is a multilevel platform chip most newer ones with 2.4GHz wireless system. There are so many features and benefits to the aids it can get confusing.
I think as hearing aids reach their limits of what can be added in features you will start to see the price go down, but that’s a few years down the road and hopefully you won’t need any O because as the theme of the day seems to be you take care of yourself now while you are young.
@Sumo:
That’s what’s up. That’s what J4G is all about.
OK, so I’m getting started with my Savate self-study with a simple read on Wikipedia. Says here that a big part of the Savate system is kickboxing. I don’t knock that for anyone else, but in my humble opinion it’s not a good idea to put a fot in the air, at least no higher than the waist in a toedown on the street; as I said in my articles I linked to upthread, it risks (1) losing your balance and most important (2), it opens you up to serious injury. At best I’d do some low Wing-Chung style kicks to a knee, shin or ankle, and very sparingly at that; virtually nothing else.
Also, from my time of studying Aikido, I’m kinda used to “gliding” my feet – trtying to keep them as “rooted” in the ground as possible, which gives me maximum amount of balance. This is even more important now that I use a cane. Which brings me to the next point:
Again, and this is just my personal view, the cane serves the purpose of giving me added range, thus replacing what a leg could or would do. I mean yea, if I’m up close and without my cane, I might do some Muay-Thai/Silat style knee strikes; but most of the time, I’d work my fists/arms/elbows and cane, the latter especially for range. Ideally, because I’m a shorter guy to begin with, I wouldn’t go to far outside my circle and instead engage my opponent at “point black” range. That’s why I’m such a big fan of wrestling, boxing (American), Kali and KFM, because all of these systems are especially designed for close quarters hand to hand combat, where utilizing kicks such as those seen in Savate would be impractical.
Just wanted to toss that in. Back to reading on it. Hit me up with your thoughts.
Thanks again!
O.
So there I was, arriving in line at the branch Post Office, backed up past the main entrance, and distinctly not looking at the fluffy mamacitas with way-too-short skirts swirled by the wind whenever the door opened. I found a stranger’s face friendly, smiling invitingly at me, as if she wanted me to join her, five or six folks ahead in line. She may have been a little older than me, rather thin, rather faded, like her blue sweater. But nice, comfortable, you know. A man between us had a little cart with several large packages in it. “You must have had to stay up all night to fill out all those tax forms,” I joked. She giggled, and must have liked the little joke because she repeated it to those around her. I guess her hearing was pretty good. (The man with the packages had turned red. “They’re for my waff’s granddogter,” he explained. He had an unusual hick accent.)
What I’m saying is, my attention was on her, because she seemed nice, and open.
#81
I don’t know anything about patent law but I image that the technology is proprietary. I do know that one of the companies mentioned above years ago did sell some of its tech to one of the aid manufactures but the manufacture no longer uses it as it is now obsolete.
Bionic hearing, the bane of my existence. So many clients expect to hear like the 6 mill dollar man and are disappointed when they don’t!
jf12,
Ironically in my experience I have found it easier to fit women with hearing aids and have them accommodate to them faster then men. BUT Men will buy hearing aids and women will do without. Men also like more gadgets with the aids then the women do.
It has never ceased to amaze me the degrees to which women will go to construct such complex social conventions to convince themselves (and limit their intrasexual competition by convincing other women) their appearance “shouldn’t matter.”
http://therationalmale.com/2013/01/24/the-new-thin/
It’s simple math ladies, 68% of the westernized population is overweight, almost 40% is morbidly obese. While 90% may be a stretch, if you are in good shape (not even peak physical ideal shape) you will statistically outclass at least 70% of your intrasexual competition.
I’ve had sex with a bit more than 40 women in my time. I can tell you from experience, out of shape women do not have the sexual energy a man needs.
Considering the laundry list of personal and physical prerequisites a man must have to qualify for a woman’s intimacy & sex, to deny men, either socially or psychologically their ONE prerequisite for intimacy and sex is an insult to men.
Stop insulting us. Get on the treadmill, run until you’re thin.
@Obsidian
I agree with you about the high kicking not being a sound tactical decision for the street (I live in Canada, ice/snow 6 months out of the year, so yeah – kicks kept to a minimum). My “base” for martial arts is American Kenpo; one of the things my instructor used to hammer into us (metaphorically) was that legs would take care of the opponent’s lower body, and the arms would take care of the upper body.
I guess what I’m saying is, as you continue to incorporate savate techniques into your repertoire, remember what Bruce Lee said – “Absorb what is useful, discard what is not”.
Stop insulting us. Get on the treadmill, run until you’re thin.
LMAO
@Sumo:
Kenpo is a very good system; Forrest Whittaker, the famous actor, holds a black belt in it, as I recall. And there was Jeff Speakman (who’s still very much alive) who had some buzz a few deacades back in featuring it on film (“The Perfect Weapon” perhaps being his best known work). There’s another famous actor who’s known for using Kenpo on film, Terry something or other, can’t recall the last name right now. Very good system, excellent for countering an attack with the quickness.
As for Savate: yea, if I can crib a move or three from it, both empty hand and with a cane, I’m good!
Thanks again!
O.
@ 69 regarding hearing aides, I know what you mean, I simply don’t have an answer. It’s visceral like wanting to avoid effeminate men, fat chicks or puddles of puke. Just gives me the creeps down deep
@71 I understand what you are saying and agree to a certain extent. Defining success could fill a blog let alone blog post….. but I reckon most men would be happy to have a sweet tempered 7 on his arm when ever he wanted…. but as for who will disqualify a man at the upper limits of physical conditioning, yep gym hotties will rule him out for a variety of reasons. My niche with gym chicks is women who crave physically powerful men. I think it’s a version of wanting the vast boy but who knows? In my town, competitive body builders niche is strippers. The young SpecOps guys I work with, they are beyond fit but yet women won’t like their calves or what have you. Most of the fit men I know are banging 7’s not 8’s & 9’s.
My main point is, what a woman finds attractive on somethings is so random and arbitrary that men shouldn’t get to hung up on things.
The gym hotties get to be extra picky. They are picking fit men, but disqualifying large numbers of fit men out of hand. Where being fit helps is large number of women don’t rule you out automatically, but it seems to me you only have to hit a certain minimal standard for that.
I’m already sipping my mountain dew, fresh batch, so let me know if what I posted makes sense.
@Sfcton:
Yea, what you’re saying makes sense to me. Most Women don’t go in for Arnold “Pumping Iron” type guys as a rule; being fit thought definitely helps, but being Jacked to the Max? Probably not.
Having said that, as you noted, such guys do have their niche with certain ladies, and I say to each his or her own. Got no problem with that in the least.
O.
WRT weight aggregate tables: Bunk.
My dad played football for UConn, last season was ’42. He was supposedly the fastest end in the conference. At 6’1 1/2″, 185, he’d be overweight today.
When I got out of OCS in 1969, I was 6/2″, 205, could run all day, whip a tiger with a switch. Even after a three-week debauch over Christmas, the famous, fabled, fearsome jump school physical training was a joke. I’d be overweight at that build today.
IMO, it’s the government ratcheting the thing down in order to justify yet another useless and intrusive “program”.
Ref “nice”. I may be constructing false memories, or rousing out real ones. Back in the day, womeh who weren’t “nice” were just “there”. You didn’t bother with any but the necessary civility, presuming it was necessary because you were employed together or something. There was no reason, never, to ask a not-nice girl out. Didn’t matter how hot they were. Being not nice was a deal breaker and, anyway, told you there would be a rejection anyway. And they weren’t attractive. Plenty of hot nice girls around.
And those were the ones you asked out.
As long as you didn’t make their acquaintance in a dorm cafeteria line and try for a number then, which hardly anybody did, you had plenty of time to suss out the personality.
At parties and so forth, it was easily discernible who was nice and if they weren’t, they were off the screen without the slightest fuss. You know those guys who always want to talk, always and only, about some dumb subject? You avoid them without thinking. Ditto a girl who didn’t seem nice.
@Rollo 89:
Yup – I said something very similar upthread. Just a lady taking twwo dress sizes off her current size, and I started at a 16, would do wonders for her in terms of widening the pool of potential suitors for her, and by extension putting her significantly ahead of the female competition in her social milieu. As Deti said in that post of his a little while back, it really ain’t that high a bar, ladies. Its a lot easier than you think or would like to believe.
For me, a Woman doesn’t even have to get on a treadmill; just get out on the street and walk(!).
O.
@Rich Aubrey:
Let me ask you a question: where do you this current trendof “mean girls” has come from? You know, gals “nuking” guys and whatnot. How do you account for it – or do you think the whole thing is overblown to begin with?
What’s your take?
O.
#69 & 93
I think you’re not looking for Hearing aids in a catalogs because they have to be programmed by someone who understands the science of sound and the biology of hearing and speech, otherwise you can so some severe damage. Devices today are very fine tuned to the individual’s needs and can exceed up to 138dB output.
Closing up for the night, hope this helped.
@Obs :“Do chaps over there still carry Irish Blackthorns over there, given all that you said? Are they still legal?”
Not on the Big Island I don’t think. At the very least they could do you for “going equipped” i.e. for a break-in. It’s amazing how fertile Plod’s imagination is, when it comes to deciding what is and isn’t a burglary tool. Even in the trunk of your car, if you aren’t a tradesman.
One mad old coot who got tired of all the “vibrancy” used to sell sjamboks and Rhodie/Saffer bullwhips on the ‘Bay. Had youtubes of how to use them stickfighting style, but I think PC49 had other ideas, once they cottoned on to his site.
What the Fenians get up to on their island is entirely their own affair, I have no idea.
I fear they’re more agitated about RPGs and AKs, now the Troubles are sort of on/off again (after the end of the finance and housing bubble, the crims/freedomfighters don’t have anywhere to salt away their cash, so it’s back to that ol’ standby, actual krymes).
Tell the truth, the most annoying thing is UMC oldsters who carry those ski-pole type hiking sticks. Even in cities! And similar tweed-draped crumblies in rures with expensive shepherds’ crook things. Poor sense of proprioception, invariably end up tangled in people’s feet and strollers.
Talking of which, I used to have a great big fuckoff motorcycle chainlock over the handles when perambulating in our “vibrant” innercity neighborhood with the sons&heirs. Ostensibly for securing the pram-thing at the baby-swings and stuff. And grandda’s pitman’s belt holding up me keks.
Devil-dogs, very fashionable, out of control and bloody everywhere at the time they were, with their weedy tattoo-covered (literally) Gollum-clone “owners”. Belt’s done the job a couple of times. Brass end, obviously. Suck it up, Fido, else I’ll kneedrop on yer ribs. Beauty of it was, critters the dogs were dragging around either ran off, or, in one bizarre incident, apologized most obligin’
I weren’t expecting that. Most embarrassing.
Never forgive them for traumatizing the nippers, tho’. Must have been like being stuck in your seatbelt, with a dinosaur coming thru the windshield inna Jurassic Park stylee.
Which reminds me, must pop out and get a squint at the “blood moon” tonite.
@Tam:
Thanks, I didn’t think the Bobbies would go in for Blackthorns being street legal; the LOOK dangerous, and like a weapon. Now over here in the States, I probably could get away with having it as my cane, though I would be concerned with doing damage to someone using it, as I would have to explain all that in a potential court case. I can just see the other side holding up the “weapon” now, and then going into its history…hard to see how I’d win that one.
But, I suppose I could still acquire one or two, strictly for collector’s purposes…and perhaps occasionally, take ‘er outon a night on the town.
But everyday use?
Hmm…
O.
[Apols. for drooling on about weapons, people, it’s just interesting to me the varying reliance on medieval equipment Over Here, vis-a-vis the almost universal reliance on Mr Colt’s equalizer round your manor].
I forgot. In Scotland, the national summer sport is golf (not tennis; definitely not tennis :)), there are free or near as dammit free municipal courses and pitch&putt links in any town of reasonable antiquity, plus driving ranges everywhere in the countryside. No membership req’d., just rock up.
They (the latter) are one of the favorite post-demob/retirement enterprises for ex-service bods. Drink all day in the shack, drive the ball-gathering cart every now and again in a healthy outdoor environment. Collect fees. And why not.
Which means that any “ned” or bampot with evil in mind can tote a 3-iron or two, or a wood around anywhere without a care. Don’t even need a bag, nobody bats an eye. You can pick them up for less than a dollar a pop in thrift shops, thousands of the bloody things there must be. For the usual reason. Dead mens’ toys
The clincher is, unlike legit sportsnuts, the rude bways don’t take any more extra balls than they already got ..
Obisidian @ 74 I use a rather plain cane. Medium wood, medium stain with a limited amount of circular carvings to improve grip. I think the key is no old man metal cane and decent quality but I am very fashionably challenged. My best shirts are Hawaiian, otherwise it’s work close or riding gear. For me the cane is also a conversation starter. Before long the person will ask, I tell them I dislocated my hip when an IED wrecked my truck and…. Now that carries no weight in military towns but Southron college chicks eat it up.
@ 94 I am a powerlifter and do strongman because I love the adrenaline rush an overcoming pain. In some ways I think strength athletes have broader appeal but it is more difficult to bring up in casual conversation. Lots of chicks simply think you’re good size farm boy or mason. The farm boy/ country boy game is chick crack to…. once again Southron college chicks, rural girls who moved to the city or girls a generation or so removed from rural life. Lots of girls I pull say I remind them of their grandfather. Odd, right?
Richard, I scored a 312 on my 1st PT test at basic in Benning. Only a 245 at the end. I was amazed at the fat asses who showed up. I did not get back into shape until after RIP. Man was that a struggle.
Hit the gym, be pleasant and open to new experiences*. That is all.
C0me to think of it, that’d be good advice for any woman, married or single…
*Open to new experiences does not mean “The UCLA Offensive Line.”
@56: Mr. O
“Hear, hear! I mean I get the current trend of everything downstairs being smooth as a baby’s bottom and all that, but to me it kinda freaks me out a little bit – like I’m dealing with a pre-pubscent girl or something.”
Surprised that slipped by unnoticed.
So, from my recent experiences (escorts) this is a NOT a big adjustment. Thought it might be when I first started “hobbying” last year. As you know most women in porn are “smooth” but since I’d never been with someone like that, I thought it might seem awkward. It wasn’t. Frankly, I think it would seem weird to go back to a lady who wasn’t.
The oddest thing is some Feminists are now trying to lay this on men too. I don’t think that’s going over very well though; might have to talk to some younger guys about that. I’m reasonably trimmed and have had no complaints from the ladies. But as for me going totally bald down there; I don’t think so !!!
Obsidian et al,
Some of these are kind of pricey, but very cool, if you’re looking for a SD-specific cane:
http://www.saddler.co.uk/shop.html?cr=355&cdesc=rustic_walking_sticks
http://www.canemasters.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1
And if you want to get your Penguin on:
http://real-self-defense.com/unbreakable-umbrella/
Seasons. Does it go Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, or should it start in Winter?
What a glorious day today, season-wise! 65 °F, moderate- to fresh breezes on the Beaufort scale. The atmosphere, rinsed of yesterday’s pollen, is newly filled to bursting with a veritable orgy of commingled pollen and scents from thousands of species all trying to reproduce all at once. The girls seem excited by the playful (“fresh!”) romps of the air, and the boys seem even more excited by the girls being excited.
These seasonal responses probably operationally define “boys” and “girls” as opposed to “old geezers” and “old geezresses”. I know which category I put myself in.
So, how come there are so many unflattering words for old men, but not many for old women?
Old coot, old codger, old fart, did I already say old geezer, so many gender-specific.
That was a badass post, Liz!
This is a very interesting thread!
I’ve learned quite a lot already. I need to definitely work on my feet, and I need a defined and recognizable style, also trim don’t shave…hm, don’t think so. But I do recommend waxing or sugaring instead of shaving. Shaving causes bumps and stubble that can be painful for one’s paramour.
#2 theasdgmer: ““Dye the gray hair if it bothers you.”
Maybe to better-looking shades? And how many? (You know where I’m going with this…) 50 shades of gray? [Ba-Dum]
Hee hee.
#19 Novaseeker: I agree being in shape is key for the older woman. At a younger age, a woman realy only has to push away from the table but as one gets older a little more work is needed. Flab isn’t attractive. I really like yoga…the “power” kind (Ashtanga, sp?) not just hatha yoga. All I really need to do is five moves…about 10 minutes a day, but they are really intense moves.
I haven’t mentioned exercise because so many people in here are far more qualified and know more than I do, but I will say that just about every time I meet a new woman she asks me what I do (they all seem to assume I work out all the time…literally my workout takes about three hours per week, max, which includes my runs). I’ll share a couple of things I do. The best for the core is to sit in a lotus position (or cross legs), place your hands next to the body on each side and lift your entire body off the ground. Hold this position for 30 seconds to a minute, when you’re able. It will probably be hard to lift the feet of the ground at first but if you hold the position and lift the body as much as you can, you will be able to do it eventually (. Next best move for arms, to prevent “bat wings” under the arms: Two versions of the plank pose. One on the elbows (only feet and elbows-lower arm on the ground, hold body in position like a plank) the other on the hands (only feet and hands on the ground, body like a plank). I do the plank poses for three minutes…this will take a while to work up to. These are great moves for women and take very little time.
#27: Badpainter: I agree about culture and aging. My mom is Italian and has aged really well (northern italian).
# 37: BV: Great thoughts! Every woman should have a defined and recognizable style. Unfortunately, I cannot publish my signature move.
#41: Thanks PP! Very good point about the importance of looking presentable to reflect well on one’s spouse and children too. My husband actually told me later my mom’s looks were a helpful “selling point” for me.
#46 JF12, I read the posts from most recent to least recent and this one is pretty funny without context…certainly piqued.
#49: Thanks Bloom! I agree with everything you said.
@jf12 isn’t spring grand? Now you are keyed into the nearly pornographic mating frenzy too! Lol, if you were a bee anyway. Enjoy!
Should have said piqued my curiosity above.
Unfortunately I’m not home and this computer at my mom’s house is awful (dialup services too…so slow it’s sucking my will to live)
Liz,
I don’t think that I have left a comment on this thread. Anyway, if this is your first published post, congratulations are in order. Everything was simply stated and eminently doable.
Thanks Fuzzie Wuzzie!
#110 my new goal: being consistently funny without context. I think, even if nobody else has thought, I’ve been funny with context my whole life.
O. I went exclusive in ’68. So anything I saw after that was observing others. OTOH, I did spend a fair amount of time in projects and classes after going exclusive. Despite being an observer, it was clear that many women were nice. In a couple of venues, some had different views of things like the war and whatnot and they weren’t “nice” to me but were civil because we had a shared objective.
That being said, I’ve rarely run into an unpleasant woman. Couple of examples were women running small firms who were, I suspect, pro-actively trying to beat me at willy-waving or something. But that was only two or three.
Had some fun baiting lib/greenies one time or another but since they didn’t know it was happening–I look stupid, but it’s a handy disguise–I suppose that doesn’t count either.
So the meanies would be in the dating world.
As our subject in the previous post said, she tried being nice, and it worked a treat. That’s fine, except we have no idea what went before. Built-in sneer? What was “mean” as she manifested it?
I heard of nuclear rejections, but rarely. More common was being dumped, and that usually was difficult enough and the guys I knew never said anything that would sound like “nuclear”.
If I had to guess as to frequency, it would be related to the situation. A woman who goes to a bar to attract attention is not the usual. And she would probably get more of the kind she didn’t want, anyway, waiting for the kind she did. Wouldn’t know about that.
I think confirmation bias would be involved. I think being shot down would be damaging enough that “nuclear” would occur as a descriptor. Whether there are more mean-spirited bitches around I have no idea, not being on that ground, and you younger folks weren’t around with me. So we have no empirical grounds about numbers.
OTOOH, one could hypo that some of the feminists’ writing could encourage a woman to be a bitch to a guy either because the patriarchy deserves it, or just because it’s fun and they’re only guys, anyway. That wouldn’t have been a factor in my earlier time.
It may seem odd to say this, considering the varieties of humanity, but my world was full of nice, kind, cheerful, open, personable women. Maybe that’s the way it was, maybe because the exceptions didn’t go down the memory hole, not having gotten close enough in the first place.
Some I asked out turned me down, but never meanly.
But, as I said, it would be interesting to see how our subject in the previous post would describe as her self-presentation before deciding to be nice.
As I have said before, I had a flaw which kept me from even thinking about approaching women with whom I was associated in other than dating relationships. I could work with attractive women for weeks or months and never think of approaching. Perhaps that unique arrangement, of which I was unaware, disarmed the women.
#109: Thanks Bastiat! Somehow missed your post up there…..
@jf12 #107 :- ur usin tha rong language.
Try the Ghaidhilig, it’s gotta absolute nucular fuckton of accurate, amusing but remarkably scurrilous words for womanly repulsiveness in all its aspects.
Mainly to do with age and slatternly conduct, laziness and flyting/scolding. Which tells us quite a lot ..
(The equivalent men’s putdowns are invariably linked to cowardice, braggadocio or infirmity but not any of the vices, particularly irreligion or intemperance, again telling us quite a lot about these primitive yokels and their society).
top posting Liz.
as far as “At a younger age, a woman really only has to push away from the table “ goes, well obviously. But not in a Boss Tweed fashion, I trust.
I have convinced myself (through decades and decades of field studies and anecdata) that the absolute key to not tubbing-up for da laydeez is .. da-dah -durrr .. a sound night’s sleep.
All night. Every night. Every single frickin’ night.
I s’pose babbies and that fuck with everone’s best intentions eh?
Have a go at the more easily assimilated manifestations of magnesium. Powder in yer brekky juice, massive 200mcg horsepills, whatever.
And don’t be supping at the ale beyond 2 hrs afore beddy-bye-boes, nor That Twitter nor none o’ any other o’t’devil’s mirror. Arr.
Works. Like a chom it voiks. Within two days ah garontee!
Careful tho’. Too much and you’ll be snoozing until after the dole-bludgers are up and jonesin’. Not harmful, just needs another equally expensivo pill to wake you up, in this case vit. B12. And coffee. Oh so much coffee.
Fun stuff, this. Women often don’t get cause and effect. Until they get smacked in the face. Get yourself onto a decent diet and walk. A lot. That alone is an excellent start for most women. Be pretty, be feminine, be available. All three take some work for those women who haven’t been doing them.
Can speak to hearing aids acting like kryptonite around women as I was born hearing impaired and have had to wear them from a very young age. Can’t do better than behind-the-ear models for my loss levels. So it’s been a work in progress to adopt better masculine behaviors and postures; doing this definitely helps. Also I can recommend partner dancing. It’s a good way for men to learn how to lead and to let that leadership into all other aspects of his life.
Liz,
You excellent advice rests on one principle that goes without saying and yet needs to be said:
Be a woman. Do not present an aura as a mannish woman. Feminine dignity is an absolute must, it’s an attitude. Many of the Latin, Mediterranean, European women around here are every bit the bitchy ball-busters that the natural born American SIWs are, and yet they still have latent appeal because they carry themselves as women.
sfcton.
As I recall, in the old days, you maxed the PT test with six one hundreds. There was the 150 yd man carry, rundodgejump, lowcrawl, something something and a mile in boots. As I recall, the group was most differentiated in the mile run. Scores clustered more in the others. No matter what you do, some are born to run and others not.
Thirty years ago, after a number of orthopedic obstacles, I finally got into a sanctioned ten mile race. So done at the end I pissed myself. And I hear marathoners going on about “three thirty three”, damn them, which would be my pace for an additional sixteen miles. Magic.
Thing about weight is that, when you have a house and a household, you have food. Cookies, crackers, sliced cheese for the latter, etc. Even if you don’t have the donuts and sweet rolls, you can do yourself a mischief.
My father, seeing the skinnies at the upscale deli and the fatties at Walmart, is of the opinion that people with unsatisfying lives eat. And they eat comfort food–meatloaf, spuds, gravy.
People whose lives are moving, who are stimulated by life due to circumstance don’t do that. Don’t have to. And they usually have more money than the folks with the crummy jobs.
I went to enormous state university where it was absolutely necessary to have a map at hand when registering for classes. Eventually, as the campus expanded, they went to twenty minutes between classes. Most folks got 15-25 miles a week, at a pace designed to Get There. So, without making an effort or plans, there were some calories out the door.
But, once you pass a certain age, and not a very old one, the mental effort to get started, to get out of the house, is substantial and no matter how many times you find you love it, whatever it is, it’s still tough to start the next time.
But exercise is for fitness. Several years ago, redoing the house, I moved everything upstairs downstairs. And everything downstairs upstairs later. Counted the trips, averaged the weight, did the conversions, figured I used up about half a Krispy Kreme.
Point is, not to eat. My wife has taken to serving dinner on luncheon plates, which reduces portion size without leaving a hungry feeling. Ice cream in small bowls.
As a demo, I have lost ten pounds in the last two weeks by being sick as hell and not wanting to eat. Haven’t wanted to move, either. So the point is (not) eating.
@Ms. Liz:
I’m not a “foot guy” or anything like that, so for someone like me to speak on it means that, at least insofar as locally is concerned, it’s an issue to be concerned about. “Cankles”,and the aforementioned other stuff? Uh-uh. If you’re a Woman and gots big dawgs, you gotta try to minimize them somehow – try footwear that doesn’t draw as much attention to them. If your feet is kinda beat, stay away from anything open toes. Not all Women can work heels (3″ or more); no problemo, wear sensible footwear instead.
I’ve always been partial to Mary Janes myself; several ladies in my life have worn them to formidable effect…but yea, whatever a gal’s gotta do to get her foot game together, it’s definitely worth it to do so.
O.
@95 Richard Aubrey
I agree that the government’s definition (I think it actually came from the AMA?) of overweight, being just based on BMI, is too simplistic and over-samples for obesity. That said, people are very noticeably a lot fatter now than they used to be, and I’m only 35. When I was young, most adults were not fat, and I have my parents’ photo albums to back up my memory. Now they are. In the company I work in, maybe 40% of the guys in the shop aren’t seriously fat, and another 20% are like me, guys that need to lose a good 15 pounds (full disclosure: I was in the obese group by BMI, but I’ve dropped almost 15 pounds in two months and am now just fat. Progress!). Their wives (from what I see at Christmas parties) are no better.
Out in general society, women seem to have all put on the pounds, enough so that thin ones are rare. Amongst my married friends, one has a fit wife, two have fat wives (need to lose 10-15 pounds) and two have obese wives. I wouldn’t call myself of my friends upper crust blue bloods, but they all have college degrees of practical use (one engineer, one business, two teachers, and one HR) so it’s not like they’re discount car mechanics chasing hood rats either.
Obs, I don’t have cankles or anything (thank goodness) but I might be due to a pedicure (and manicure for that matter). Been a long, long while.
“Be a woman. Do not present an aura as a mannish woman. Feminine dignity is an absolute must, it’s an attitude. Many of the Latin, Mediterranean, European women around here are every bit the bitchy ball-busters that the natural born American SIWs are, and yet they still have latent appeal because they carry themselves as women.”
I agree, Badpainter. Actually, that reminds me of a story my husband relayed recently. He was speaking to a copilot about voices on the radio and they both remarked that French women had the best voices. Then the guy remarked that he’d been to France when he was in his early twenties, and there was a woman who looked to be in her mid forties selling cologne. He described the sultry and feminine way she spoke and lightly dabbed the cologne on his wrist and explained how every scent should be individual to the person. He said the conversation about the cologne was so sexy he actually shivered with goosebumps on his neck…and bought the cologne. He said, “And I still wear that cologne to this day” (about thirty year later). He also said thinking about that cologne exchange still excited him. And she didn’t do anything untoward or sexual…she just exuded elegant sex appeal.
Shades. There was a VERY upscale–for the midwest–deli near where I used to work. I would go there about once a month to get something not available elsewhere for a gourmet dinner recipe or something. There’d be maybe fourteen varieties of olive oil. Or maybe more than that. Possibly it was the vinegar with the fourteen varieties.
Without exception, customers were good to skinny. Our big-box store was different. There’d be women four feet across the butt riding their amigos. Not hard to guess which came first.
But, yeah, more people do seem overweight. Can’t have been that much more exercise in the middle class life thirty years ago.
@Shades:
Noted, but having said that, there is an undeniable Class component at work insofar as the weight issue in American life is concerned; the way you described yourself and your buds, I would slot you all in the “solid middle class” and your description of them and their wives especially, fits with that SES designation: they, the wives in particular, are between “whippet thin”, as Charles Murrary describes the UMC in his awesome work “Coming Apart”; and “hood obese”, as so many Sistas here in Philly and throughout Black America, look (again: think Rachel Jeantel).
Murray asserts that one major way you can tell who’s who in American life, is by appearance and by that he means, weight. After one controls for all the usual stuff we look for in American life, the biggest factor is one’s SES level/position and their weight, and it would be pretty accurate. Having said that, it is undeniable, albeit deeply politically incorrect to notice, that Women have the biggest weight problems, and this is somethign that cannot be denied in Black America; yes, Black Men have problems along these lines as well, but it just cannot be compared in aggregate with Black Women. Even the most casual look aroound in anywhere in Black America, especially its urban cores, will bear this out.
And to me, I don’t see what the big deal is in pointing this out; after all, what gives Women their figures is fat to begin with, and Women have more of it than do Men, so again it would stand to reason that, of the two to have weight problems, Women would be more prone to them. Also, because Men have less fat and more muscle than do Women, it would also stand to reason that they would have a better time of managing their weight (and I am ultra hard on Fat Men, because they have no excuse whatsoever to be Jabba the Hutt). But yea, what you described pretty much falls in line with what Murray was talking about.
O.
@126 Richard Aubrey
I don’t real know the answer, but I suspect portion size has something to do with it. I cut what I eat at restaurants by about half, cur what I eat at home by about a third. and stopped drinking soda. I didn’t really do that much more exercise (I mainly ride my bicycle long distance). I notice that my fat friends eat a lot and drink a lot of sugary stuff too, so maybe it wasn’t just me.
@127 Obsidian
I can only say this for sure about family members, but the ones who are fat-to-obese and poor (which is most of them) consistently make bad, impulsive, irrational choices. I think a lack of impulse control and inability to delay gratification go hand in hand with being poor, stupid, and fat. I don’t excuse myself either- I have a great career and all that, but I didn’t exercise any discipline on what I was eating. I have met one person who was smart, hard working, skinny, and poor, and he was that way because his wife frivorced him and nuked his life for no other reason that she hit about 35 and decided her life wasn’t all it should be and it must be his fault (textbook example).
If I’m reading you right, I have the opposite interpretation you do- I think the kinds of life choices that lead one to be severely overweight also predispose one to being poor. I do not think that poor people are more likely to be fat because they are poor.
#125 The big problems are curable by long hot baths plural followed by good scrubbings plural, to include pumice and/or hacksaws depending on the severity, and then wearing actual shoes with actual socks or hose for many days in a row. Pedicures involving paint can be worse than lipstick on a pig, and are unnecessary if the pig is a nice lamb (I think that was the toe content of the remark about neat nails).
#60
I can imagine two explanations:
1. There’s no profit to be made by doing that. The bottom fifth or fourth of Western adult population – the bottom in terms of general abilities and social rank – is already viewed as unemployable i.e. not capable of doing profitable work. And the general American rule is that something that cannot turn a profit is basically not worth doing.
2. Nobody cares about the poor.
WPA…. No thanks. We were supposed to have something similar when obama 1st swore in. How many million shovel ready projects did he claim? How many jobs were created? No the govt is not to be trusted. Any such new program is poltical pay off and a chance for the weathly to skim tax dollars. Jobs will not be created
I am a kinist and a populace politically but we have transfered enough money to the poor, burdened the middle class to the breaking point and the govt is to corrupt to have faith in.
Being fat does seem to be an issue with the lower class everywhere I have lived in the usa, but I also wonder if competition in the SMP plays a factor. As in its less comepetive in the lower class so less effort is put forth? What I noticed in Hawaii was poor folks in Honolulu seemed thinner etc then poor folk outside of town with Honolulu being one of the more competitive SMP’s I’ve seen ( among the locals. Drunk tourists and mainland college girls much less so)
H. How do you do that umlaut thing?
WRT caring about the poor. If you read Murray, as O suggests, you’ll get an idea of some issues having to do with the poor. Oddly, just for random grins, I went back and read about Ogbu and the Shaker Heights school study. Different attitudes have different results, which is apparently a shocker to a lot of folks.
My brother and sister in law are shooters in their town’s homeless program. During the cold months a consortium of churches provides a place to sleep. Churches with the facilities take turns, those without provide people and resources. And a big breakfast, better than I was getting at battalion mess when Iwas in the army. Without exception, every one of these folks has mental, drug, or alcohol problems. People not so afflicted, in the rare and temporary case they have no roof, have what is known as social credit. Their friends or relations will take them in. Because they won’t steal the silver, chase the thirteen-year old, puke in the kitchen, bring home staggering friends to pass out in the living room.
As my father says, that was common in the Depression.
My sister in law has been trying to help an individual woman for years. Had a hell of a time explaining why grocery shopping at the gas station was a bad idea. Habitat got her a house, somebody got her a lawnmower. Grass grew because she didn’t think to get gasoline. Sister in law tried to explain that leaving dishes on the floor when you have a dishwasher was a bad idea. Eventually got through.
The resources this woman absorbs while being dragged through life by the collar are insupportable if applied to all in her situation. And when my sister in law pulls back, or goes on vacation or something, this woman may as well have square wheels.
It’s easier to care, in the sense of doing something, if the doing shows results.
But in the meantime, transfer payments to the poor, the near-poor, and the gamesters are at astronomical levels. Somebody cares, if only to buy votes.
@132
“How many million shovel ready projects did he claim?”
How about the jobs actively prevented?
Keystone XL would have been 5000-7000 high paid construction jobs, and 2000 permanent jobs. Because of the watermelons I spent the first nine months of 2010 unemployed. Keystone was to have been most of my 2010 work.
While Keystone XL gets all the press at the same time various efforts by BigGov. to appease watermelons just about killed the pipeline business in 2009-2010. Burdensome permitting requirements, and less than timely processes delayed a number of jobs for over a year. The generally poor state of the financial sector didn’t help either.
NO accountability whatsoever on the part of petty bureaucrats means a contractor might be planning to hire 300 people on Monday and a sudden change to permit means everyone is laid off the previous Friday because of an esoteric dispute about the placement of filter bags and water pump containment.
Yeah, gov. “creating” jobs. That’s the best joke I’ve ever heard.
One of the reasons I am a Southron Separatist is, we could solve our economic problems in a few years if we were allowed to use our natural resources. Those are jobs that cannot be out sourced, do not require large amount of book learning and can support a small family with our low cost of living. These things will never be achieved as long as we are yoked to the union.
Badpainter and Richard are both spot on as well
sfcton,
I should note Keystone was/is to be 100% union in the construction phase. Strange quirk in the industry that almost all “large pipe” jobs in the USA are union contractors. It’s the only way to gather those particular skills in sufficient quality and quantity in one place at short notice. One example of union involvement being a positive.
Despite my membership in a union I am not generally a fan of unions.
BV #37. I agree completely. The 40+ woman should have acquired more accurate self-knowledge and know how to play to her strengths. This includes having a signature style that differentiates her from the fashion-chasing herd mentality present in the young demographic. If you are young and hot enough, you can go either Classy or Trashy and it will probably work out. You can get wobbling drunk and maybe it is still funny. If you are over 40, your options drop to “Classy” only.
The elegant Loubs and the Guerlain and stuff can still be matched with pornstar-level skills and trashy verbiage in the bedroom, and I actually think that this is a very potent combination.
I think that something like this more or less applies to men as well.
Re: Charles Murray. I have been reading his latest work, “A Curmudgeon’s Guide to Getting Ahead”, and came across this piece of advice that I thought fit well with BV’s Sovereign Man:
Rule #28. Don’t Ruin Your Love Affair With Yourself
“Aristotle and Confucius shared another crucial insight: Virtue consists of learned behaviors that become habits, in the same way that physical fitness results from the habit of exercise. You aren’t fit because you learn the physiological requirements of fitness and spend a frenzied week at the gym a couple of times a year. Similarly, you aren’t generous because you write a big check to United Way a couple of times a year.
“How do you acquire the habits of virtue, so that virtuous behavior is reflexive? Let’s take a prosaic example that has happened to all of us in some form. You’ve left the supermarket and realize that the checkout person gave you $20 too much change. You’re already halfway to your car with your arms full of groceries. The mistake is not your fault. Let’s assume you know that the checkout clerk won’t have to pay for it. It’s a huge supermarket chain making millions in profits. Do you schlep all the way back to the store to give the money back?
“A convenient resource in making the right decision is to take great enjoyment in a self-conscious image of yourself—in this instance, to take great enjoyment in thinking of yourself as incorruptibly honest. What happens if you don’t return the $20? You ruin your love affair with yourself. You don’t have to be self-righteous to make this strategy work. I assume that I have a price at which I would be willing to ruin my love affair with myself. I don’t know what it is. But I am quite sure that it is more than $20. “
I think (might be wrong) that sfcton is refering to the Union (of the US) as the yoke of oppression (being a separatist, and all that)…not workers’ unions.
From my perspective, (on workers’ unions), the quality of medical facilities (as far as standard of care) was far higher in places I worked with unions than others. The union was actually more effective for quality of care standards than any state regulation (and a lot cheaper and more efficient…lots of reasons for this I won’t go into, and I have to hit the road soon).
But I agree they aren’t always a good thing….especially the larger the enterprise.
@138
Ooops. Yes, I misread that.
Re sex strategy for women
Don’t do exotic stuff all the time. Works for older women just like younger. The Chase is a major part of the fun for guys. If a woman (wife or gf) does exotic stuff on request, it gets boring. Make him work for exotic sex by chasing, but don’t use it as a reward for his behavior–that would be controlling. Do the exotic stuff sporadically–maybe once every few months. My .02.
#125 re: “the best voices”. I’ve been a voice man my whole life. My first wife had the best speaking voice I’d heard to that point, crisp, clear, ultrafeminine (not little girl), and a vast vocabulary pronounced correctly, which is a major plus to me. My last wife has the best speaking voice tonality, fluid contralto now, often sultry unintentionally, at the time I married her sounding like a fertile mother especially in soft laughter, though she doesn’t use it right most of the time i.e. not saying the right words in the right emotion. She could make a living with her voice, easily.
A nice young woman at church is getting married this summer. She’s recently out of college and doing some kind of bookkeeping job juggling spreadsheets, so she’s not stupid, but her voice makes her sound dumb as a box of rocks. She grew up a tomboy, dirt poor, so she often sounds masculinely harsh as if she had to fight with coyotes for every scrap of food. And every other word is followed by “and, um,” nasally, with an habitual extended pause every time, as if she’s imitating some guy imitating some guy on a cartoon trying to butch up by making everyone wait for his syllable.
Can an older woman learn to speak more beautifully? I think so, but it would take breaking down old habits first.
Field Report: Dread Game
Mrs. Gamer is comforted and is no longer unhaaaaappy.
If she knew about the broads hitting on me last night, she’d be a basket case again. I filed that field report in the Preselection post.
Liz is correct. I am not against trade unions and the like (in theory). there needs to be checks on management. though unions and management need to fix their shit and stop trying for total victory over the other
@jf12
Women’s voices
Yeah, this is a hot button for me. My fling had a delicious giggle and spoke breathily and with a slight lisp when she was excited about something. My college gf had a bit of a little girl voice and giggle, which were endearing. My wife has a rich, melodious voice which is enchanting.
Eye Candy has a tenor voice. I was thinking about it after first meeting her and wondered if she was a trannie. No way. Tiny chin, tiny waist, nice hips, rich blush in her cheeks–she never needs to put on blush. (But she seriously needs a redpill dating coach and to get married ASAP. She should have buns in her oven while she can.) I thought about her voice, which sounds like a man’s, and decided that it makes her more exotic. I like it.
My brother’s ex-gf, while very sweet, had the most awful high-pitched, nasal voice.
#133
You can get various codes for the umlaut thing here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%96
Or you can just use “oe” instead. It’s also grammatically correct.
Transfer payments, in my view, are simply tools to keep the downtrodden from getting too desperate. I don’t really see it as a sign of serious concern. The widespread consensus in the West appears to be that the poor should be isolated in untouchable, stagnant, derelict enclaves that nobody pays attention to, whereas the well-to-do, the “economically useful” should have their well-protected gated communities.
I like Charles Maury’s guarantee income idea. Much less overhead, no need to qualify for it etc. Seems to me that and the fair tax idea would float most low income lives and still let them find whatever but of work they can. Lets face it, things are requiring a higher amount of brain power everyday and there will be people to far below the IQ power curve to be productive. Manufacturing jobs will never pick up the slack because technology has cut the number of man hours required to build cars, fridges and everything else. Its some form of help or cull the herd.
H.
Thanks for the umlaut code. My wife is a retired Spanish teacher and there are various codes for what she needs. Nice to see the other stuff.
As to the poor “kept” in enclaves. The enclaves didn’t ruin themselves. I used to work fixing windows–decades ago–in areas from upscale suburbs to ‘way downtown Detroit. I knew the areas well. Some of the mid-middle class areas are now trashed. Wrought iron burglar bars, litter all over, plywood over doors and windows, lawns looking awful.
As Murray implies, and others have said, you don’t get poor people to be unpoor by giving them money. That was the libs’ idea. They get to be unpoor by doing middle class things. Unfortunately, they don’t have to.
Richard, I wonder if gangs could be deliberately trashing neighborhoods to drive out the middle class. The middle and upper classes call the cops about crime around them. The gangs bribe the politicians so that the gangs are protected along with their neighborhoods, which remain trashy.
@Hoellenhund
Sehr schoen.
BB, #137: While noncompliant with many manosphere behavioral memes, I like aspects of Chekhov’s letter to his brother, in which he advises him to rise above his surroundings, passions and self-indulgences — to be in command of himself — in order to retain the capacity to work and lead.
http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/01/29/anton-chekhov-8-qualities-of-cultured-people/
While there are hints of supplication here, I think we need to recall their 19th century context, when being a gentleman was more readily rewarded.
One of the greatest beauty tips for a younger woman planning on becoming an older woman some day is to ensure your man has wife goggles. Lock him down early, and often.
In regard to attractiveness and the mature woman, one thing we increasingly see is a disdain for the domestic. This is a kind of extension to “I don’t cook” or “Housework is for small minds.” I’m somewhat horrified at the brave disregard for the comforts of home and homestyle, with many UMC professional women. (Having a coherent domestic style is of a piece with being a woman with a fashion and fitness style, to me.) (However, I design and build furniture for fun, so perhaps I overvalue these things.) It means two things:
a. when they lock down the man, he’ll be expected to pay for the home.
b. do not plan on ever — ever — encountering what Christopher Lasch titled a “Haven in a Heartless World” with such a woman.
In one of the more bizarre things I’ve ever heard, I learned last night that a friend of mine had moved her senior-year son into his own apartment, sold or stored her furniture, and rented her house out to college kids. She’s now moved into married friends’ house. She wants to have a ‘relationship’ with me and take me to the Black Sea for the summer. I don’t know what this means, other than she’s aspiring to an adolescent lifestyle. Professionally, she’s a very senior consultant and very established. I’ve never heard of anything like this. She says it’s part of her “personal growth and change” efforts: to immerse herself in a foreign domestic environment and “hear new points of view.”
BV. I think C got it right, but not completely. It has been said that a gentleman does not insult others inadvertently. IOW, he knows how to phrase things, thinks before speaking, does not consider his opinion sovereign. But when an insult is called for, I guess he’s supposed to produce.
Somebody spoke of Carothers, who left Eton in 1938 and went up to Oxford. There he read history until the second world war, which he won. This is figurative, of course, but one of the characteristics of the gentleman was that he showed up for the wars. Partly this was residue of the gentle class descending from the knightly class which was founded on fighting. Partly this was patriotism, and partly it was noblesse oblige. To a certain extent, it was payment to society for allowing this exalted class to continue. To extend this, a gentleman did not let injustice stand. Definition of injustice in late nineteenth century Britain might be different from ours. But physical courage was assumed.
Now that we’re moving beyond beauty to attractiveness (e.g., Aubrey’s thoughts about feminine attitudes towards domesticity), let me add my .02 about what I like in women’s behavior:
1. Sweetness. Does she offer to get me a beer if I’m watching a game and my last soldier is dead? Does she make sammiches for me? Does she cook meals that I like–my favorites? Does she iron my clothes and fold them? Does she make sure that she looks good for me, or only when she goes out?
2. Warmth. When I come home, does she greet me at the door? Does she flirt with me just because and often? Does she rub my back and caress me when we’re sitting or lying close? Does she greet me wearing just a robe or a sexy outfit I bought for her?
3. Domesticity. Does she keep my house clean? Does she enjoy cooking for me? Does she wash my clothes? Does she decorate my house like I like it? Does she mend my clothes and make new items for me? Does she host parties well?
#147
The elites have abandoned the idea of “noblesse oblige” a long time ago. What you described is the main result.
#154 aahh. Contented sigh.
Gamer. I had some thoughts on feminine attitudes, but didn’t mention domestic issues.
I will say that, decades ago, when my MiL found my wife wasn’t ironing my underwear, she figured we weren’t long for it. I’d never heard of ironed underwear except for the display set in the bureau at OCS. And you sure as hell didn’t wear those. Dusted them off from time to time, sure.
My wife and I have both worked most of our lives. The exception is when the twins were small. So she didn’t “work”.
I routinely did the laundry. Funny how much credit you get for doing something anybody could do while semi-conscious. She cooks and I do the dishes. See credit for something anybody….
She is the world’s most conscientious foreign language teacher and that means huge amounts of work outside the classroom. We got a light for the car–before the dome lights were good enough–so she could do papers while we drove places in the evening.
The idea that I should not touch the domestic would have been obscene.
As to clean and picked up, however, she’s the first place. Can’t touch her for keeping up socially, birthdays, anniversaries, sympathy cards, visits.
I have never been comfortable asking anybody to get me anything. Sometimes, when somebody offers, I decline because it makes me uncomfortable and then I can’t just go and fetch it myself immediately. Have to wait. Damned inconvenient.
The idea that the alpha male, when married, sits in his recliner calling for more beer doesn’t impress me.
“I have never been comfortable asking anybody to get me anything.”
However, asking someone to do something is one of the principles of leadership and of popularity.
“The idea that the alpha male, when married, sits in his recliner calling for more beer”
What, you can’t drink beer and watch a football game? Why isn’t your wife watching to make sure that you always have beer? You shouldn’t have to call for it. Yeah, you can go get it yourself, but that’s not the point. Is she sweet?
Obsidian Quote: “Wrt the prostate thing, I definitely think you’re onto something there; the average Man replenishes his nutsac with someting like a million sperm an hour. That’s some seriously backed up plumbing if he doesn’t get a chance to relieve himself! So, yea, if a Man’s partnered up and his Woman don’t put out on the regular, there’s a serious problem. In fact, I intend to address, probably next month since I’ve got another interview post coming up at the end of the month, so definitely stay tuned on this point we’re discussing now. As far as I’m concerned, a Woman not putting out in a timely AND enthusiastic fashion is grounds for breach of contract and hence dismissal. I’m just saying.”
Seriously dude, you really believe that? Or is this a tongue in cheek remark. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say tongue in cheek, because in basic high school anatomy/biology we learned that sperm, just like other cells in the body that have a expiration date, gets broken down and reabsorbed back into the body just like blood cells that have expired. That’s how the body works. A woman has nothing to do with the health of your sperm. Your sperm doesn’t sit around in your body clogging up your plumbing causing prostate problems. Your body doesn’t work that way. Prostrate problems such as enlarged prostate is caused by a narrowing of your bladder muscle and a narrowing of your urethra. (basically getting old) as older men are prone to this.
Semi-field-report. I had to get a haircut today; Easter is coming, and midweek church is tonight, and the blustery breezes had nearly moved some of my hairs, so it was time. I went in during what ought to have been a busy time, i.e. lunch rush, and Ms. Wall was the only one there, and I the only customer. The owner, a skinny single mom barbress, hasn’t been there much lately, although she had learned pretty good from the real expert, the former owner who cut my hair for many years.
Ms. Wall, early 30s and 30 lbs overweight, never married no kids, has been visibly yearning for Prince Charming the whole time I’ve known her, well over a year, although her entire strategy, her whole life I think, has been to play Sleeping Beauty, with, unfortunately for her, way too much sleeping and not nearly enough beauty. She used to take too long cutting my hair, and was distracted. Stupidly, I lightly gamed her a few months ago, throwing her a bone of male attention, and she ate it up like it was a melting half-pint of Ben & Jerry’s. When I had to (had to!) make it clear there was to be no more, she was sad, but not mad. (aside: every time when I was younger and a woman never wanted to see me any more she always got mad at me, for making her break up with me, or something. Now, every single time I’ve been the one to put the kibosh on things, the woman is not mad about it, just disappointed or something.)
I wasn’t all that leery of being alone with her, but luckily an older woman walked in (Ms. Wall is a stylist, beauty school and ever thing). And this had been the last white (paging Obsidian!) man’s barbershop anywhere near, for many years. “Here for your 12:30? I’ll be with you in a few minutes!” Ms. Wall said brightly to her, the women having made exaggerated smiles and continuing to make other primate faces at each other, the way women will. I was making stone face, what we used to call Wooden Indian face before we couldn’t call it that any more.
She operated on me briskly, but not saying anything. Instead of her usual tender, too-gentle, fluid, moist, touch, she was, well, not rough exactly, but kind of angry. Choppy, that’s the word. And a bad word for haircutting. Her eyes were in my direction, but she wasn’t really seeing me, but some form of Man in her chair. Her breathing got expressive. I didn’t dare ask if she had had a bad date or what. Plus, she was going faster than usual.
The older woman picked up on something between us. I couldn’t see her face since she was about seven or eight feet away and my glasses were in my shirt pocket along with other stuff, kind of making it look like I had breast cancer under the hospital-scrub-turquoise colored poncho, but I could feel, maybe through sub-ether vibes, when it registered with her that the young woman and I may have had a thing of sorts at some time. I smirked in her general direction, and Ms. Wall got choppier. The older woman cleared her throat and began “I went to [a country dance place old ladies go to] on Saturday night. I had a hoot!” She had a say what? I caught Ms. Wall’s eye and she made a little smile at me: she had caught the mistake too, and eased off on the choppiness.
Presumably the older woman had mixed up “I had a blast” and “It was a hoot” but the image of her dancing or singing with an owl was amusing. She hadn’t stopped talking. Now she was talking about a locally known general contractor old man my age who was there; he didn’t dance with her, but he was there, and that rising tide had clearly floated her boat. I had halfway deduced that she was trying to get Ms. Wall jealous of her having a good time, but suddenly it dawned on me that she wanted ME to exhibit some jealousy, and to feel me out for my relative position.
“Don’t you do country western too?” I asked Ms. Wall, as she finished with me. I had put her in a category with the older woman, to make them compete. I knew she did, she had mentioned it more than once. “I used to,” she lied.
Gamer. I know about requiring actions. When I was an officer, my status required others to salute me. That’s part of leadership; cementing superior/subordinate. Hell, I’ve done more psych–BA and then a lot on my own–than most folks and I know about eliciting followership by emitting leadership.
I had a client years ago in the counseling biz who said that a number of guys should think of some way to impose on their families even if whatever it was didn’t actually interest them. Civil War reenactment, tennis, whatever. Because if you don’t impose your interests on your family–we can’t go to gramma’s until Saturday because Dad’s in a golf tournament–your family will consider you right up there with whale boogers. It’s automatic. Unconscious. It turns out that suggesting such fakery is forbidden by the canons of the practice or something.
I get all that. I also think it’s stupid and I live my life with as little of it as possible.
But that’s for the practical necessities.
My wife is sweet. No problem there, but I still get uncomfortable having something fetched for me, much less asking.
Ladies (and guys too), here’s a tip: Whenever you’re about to eat something, whatever it is, always say this to yourself,
“If I eat it, I wear it.”
Re: 50 = 30. Since the 1960s, women’s increasing use of hormonal contraception made it seem reasonable for increasing use of hormone replacement therapy to treat menopausal symptoms. But a decade ago, in a clear case of “Oops we should have done this study 30 years ago,” the findings that HRT caused significantly more cancer and other problems, the percentage of women using HRT dropped precipitously, in some consumer groups from 90% down to 10%.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/study-estrogen-could-have-prevented-50000-deaths-among-women-with-hysterectomies/
What is going to be the long-term solution when most women are living to 100 and beyond?
#155 Nobles Oblige seems to have ended in 1945.
The sons of power & privelage have been conspicuously absent from harms way.
Simple low cost weight loss tip. Dont eat fast food. Pack your own lunch, save money and trip to burger world.
Fast food calories are sticky. They stay with you instead of burning.
Galloper. If you’re referring to money, you may be right. Certainly the Ivies aren’t showing up at reveille these days. But Prince Charles served, commanded a minesweeper iirc. One whose name I forget was a chopper pilot in the Falklands war. William just left flying rescue helicopters while Andrew was a–if I get it right, forward observer his first tour until some Aussie pub outed him, and an Apache gunner.
They don’t have to join, strictly speaking, but it’s what royals do.
Even some useless continental princeling shows up in a uni from time to time, although his commission might be a bit dodgy.
I happened to run across a reference to the Tenth Lord Dundonald. Turns out he was a naval officer in the Napoleonic wars. Then Kipling, covering the Boer War, remarked, “Lord Dundonald’s galloping pom-poms ate up their weight of shell in three minutes.”
That’s why we remember Kipling and not the guy who said, “Mobile quick-firing artillery presents ammunition supply problems.”
So I tried to figure out which iteration Kipling’s Lord Dundonald was. Checked out two or three other dynasties. Some have fallen pretty hard.
Used to get my father the Telegraph obits on WW II guys, since his division had been with Monty clearing Holland. There were references to “old military families”, a fascinating concept.
@Raz:
” Seriously dude, you really believe that? Or is this a tongue in cheek remark.”
O: Yes, I do seriously believe what I said, especially the part you quoted me about failure on a Woman’s part to put out regularly is grounds for dismissal, assuming all other factors, especially on the part of the Man, hold equal. Do you agree or disagree with this, and how/why?
“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say tongue in cheek, because in basic high school anatomy/biology we learned that sperm, just like other cells in the body that have a expiration date, gets broken down and reabsorbed back into the body just like blood cells that have expired. That’s how the body works. A woman has nothing to do with the health of your sperm.”
O: Please point out to me precisely where I said that this was the case? I’d like to see that direct quote. Thanks.
“Your sperm doesn’t sit around in your body clogging up your plumbing causing prostate problems. Your body doesn’t work that way. Prostrate problems such as enlarged prostate is caused by a narrowing of your bladder muscle and a narrowing of your urethra. (basically getting old) as older men are prone to this.”
O: In that neither of us are urologists, I think it might be best to leave off the discussion there. But what I will say is that you haven’t disputed what I actually said – that the average male generates millions of sperm on an hourly basis, and that this fact plays a powerful role in a Man’s sexual psychology, namely to mate as often as possible with as many Women as possible. Now of course, that doesn’t mean that any particular Man must do that, or do that in that particular way; but again, the Evo-realities along these lines is quite powerful, and I have yet to see you directly refute it or offering countervailing evidence.
You were saying?
O.
Women are more entrepreneurial than men and start businesses at twice the rate men do. But they don’t seem to manage to grow the businesses to a large size, as only 3% of companies that go public are run by women. But some of them seem to manage to piggy back on men’s successful IPOs, as 15% of large companies have female CEOs.
See http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2014/04/16/3427362/female-ceo-proposition-emails/
Sir Nemesis,
Back in the day when I was working fulltime, we spent some effort looking at approaching women entrepreneurs. Turns out a significant–albeit unknown–proportion of the women entrepreneuring are actually fronting for a guy’s operation in order to take advantage of the SBA’s female-friendly loan program and other gender-specific advantages.
Indeed, Hanna Rosin, being intereviewd by Tucker Carlson about her book said, in responses to Carlson’s query about women being on top and all, that SBA loan advantages for women should be continued.
I definitely have a unique ‘domestic style’. But does the state of our home pass domestic muster? Hard to say.
I have thousands of square footage of white porcelain that I scrub and vacuum on a tri-weekly basis due to dogs and kids. The bathrooms, and kitchen, are always very clean. But each and every table has been procured to manufacture some sort of weapon (yes, weapon).
Back in the day, the boys were satisfied with sticks and aluminum foil (all of which could be thrown easily into a drawer and/or chucked out of the house onto the yard within minutes and without rancor). But now that they’re a bit older the weapon building is more serious. There’s a loom of sorts fashioned on the dining room table at this moment that fashions hemp thread into customized slings. The eating end of our granite kitchen Island has homemade caltrops (I’ve mentioned that if one of these things ends up on the floor and I step on it in the middle of the night, there will be no more reindeer games in this house and it’s all outside thereafter). The coffee table in front of the couch holds a collection of tools and about a one and a half foot by six inch tediously produced chain mail (made with steel wire run around a long drill bit to create a coil and then each coil is cut and linked together…it’s no kidding, authentic chainmail). Our home chainmail maker made a list for his birthday and hopes to obtain the materials necessary to turn our fire pit into a forge (as well as an anvil…I’m sure this will bring no end of joy to our highfalutin neighbors).
It’s a coastal living meets medieval times home. We take “our home is our castle” more literally than most.
(that doesn’t even touch on all the air soft weapons in the armoire, aka ‘the armory’ in the entryway)
#168 yes, there are SBA set-asides for woman-ownws businesses
http://www.sba.gov/content/women-owned-businesses
but monetarily there is an order of magnitude more federal money, as federal money per se, in federal contracting set-asides for women, minorities, and other disadvantaged or preferred businesspersons. But it’s not just gender that counts for those, it’s the total number of checkboxes.
#169 I have an anvil, but no forge. I’m jealous. But a friend has a (modified, of course) forge and makes knives (and swords, of course, and plowshares …). He lets his teen sons use it, and probably getting them to want to use it was his motivation in installing it in his shed (with a complicated automated intake and exhaust). But he is adamant that they have to make something, not just burn metal for funisies.
I haven’t been sold on the forge yet, jf12. Your friend’s forge sounds really cool…I’d go for that.
But we’re renting this house so the only thing we’d be able to fashion is some really ghetto-looking rig. Our MacGyveresque kids looked it up on youtube.
[…] Seasons Of Life: Effective Beauty Tips For The Older Woman http://www.manosphere.com/Hello everyone,. It's that time once again to feature our guest writer for Just Four Guys, and this week is someone who's been in the guest spot before – lady reader/commenter Ms. Liz, who offers some timely advice to the … […]
#172 if you’re the jewelry wearing type, be prepared to be weighted down with handcrafted items. I guess since they’re small, and take just a little metal, and require some skill and technique, a lot of forgers (sp.?) churn out lots of jewelry items, almost like carpenters’ main product is sawdust.
@172
The kids need a forge. Also a backyard furnace so the cast stuff made from tire rims. Necessary skills come the zombie apocalypse.
I’m getting out voted! lol.
I do think we’d weather out the zombie apocalypse better than most (though they’d have to come up with more inventive area denial weapons than caltrops for that type of contingency).
#176 Bolos using limp diamond wire-saw. Available at spec forc surplus stores, which exist.
Anecdote time! I was at dinner with the gf a week or two back. Three women at the table next to us, apparently a mother and her two early-20s daughters. All of them trim and good-looking, but the mom was the real knock-out. She wasn’t heavily made-up or trying to look younger than she was, she had plenty of gray in her hair, but she had an ass you could bounce quarters off of.
The daughters were easily in the 7-8 range, but the mom must have been a hard ten a few years back. As it was, if you’d offered me my pick, I’d have had to think it over.
Ladies, it is possible. I can’t say whether that was genetics or just a monumental work ethic, or some combination, but you can age gracefully and still be attractive well past middle age. See also: Helen Mirren.
@ 164 Aubrey:
It’s the 3rd-in-line to what IMO is a truly horrible soul-destroying job, Rex Brittanorum.
Prince Harry, when not doing the Zulu on pooltables in Vegas, was gainfully employed as an Apache triggerman until MiniSpook decided he was likely to be a bit of a magnet for speculative incoming, thus inconveniencing his messmates.
I have absolutely no time for the Institution these hapless puppets spend their lives trapped in, but they’re not Bad People.
Check out this typically brown-nosing and slightly “sexed-up” interview (while reading carefully between the lines).
The guy absolutely loves his job, and his older bro, being 2IL after Her Madge, is plainly spewing with envy (after 00:03:50) that he can’t be there as well, and until recently had to content himself with tooling around in a Noddy-yellow Sea King pulling incompetent yachtsmen out of the drink and the like. And live in a damp cottage in Wales, with the missus and babby. Guy has absolutely no luck. As if that weren’t enough, he’s a Villa fan as well.
It was their Uncle Andrew who saw action in the Falklands, as a Sea King co-pilot aboard the Invincible, and seems to have transferred his life-long love of tearing around in egg-beaters to his nephews.
#178 we started a list of older women about which we’d have to “think it over” or better.
http://www.justfourguys.com/j4g-mailbag-what-about-dexter/#comment-17776
We probably ought to add to the list, and divide it up into seasons or something, if we felt like being helpful.
I think Blythe Danner (gweneth paltrow’s mom) has aged really well. I don’t know if anyone has mentioned her yet.
Also, Hermione Norris (she’s a british actress…one of the main characters on MI5, aka Spooks on that side of the pond, for a while). Kate Beckinsale takes the cake (the whole bakery even) for the 40 and over hot list, IMO.
#181 maybe it was only after getting to that age myself, but I consider women in their 40s to be the hottest anyway. My list of “think it over” older women would have to start in their 50s to keep it finite in length.
Beckinsale is taller but otherwise looks similar to my youngest sister, not the doctor the evangelist’s wife, who still turns heads at age 54 (usually with her gray hair “up”, but always fully encased in “old fashioned” Pentecostal clothing).
I know a woman over 60 who has skin that looks like someone who’s around 35. No crow’s feet. She claims that it’s due to Mary Kay moisturizer.
Her hair color comes out of a box.
She looks around 45 because of the beginning of jowls. Give her a facelift and she looks 35.
Botox
Tam.
I’ve had a bit to do with military helicopters. They don’t fly. The earth rejects them because they’re so ugly. In addition, you are not flying with the advantages of air over wings. You’re hanging on a transmission. I notified next of kin back in the day and kept up with one guy’s alumni club–an attack helicopter company. As for the odds, may as well be a rifleman. Food’s better, though.
Thing is, strictly speaking, these guys didn’t have to show up. Part of the job, which was my point. Being colonel of the regiment isn’t a great deal either. Saw a pic of Kate handing out campaign medals to the Irish Guards. She was especially gracious to the guys with no legs. Then there are the funerals, visiting the wounded in hospital, and the bereaved families. My granddaughter, going on seven, thinks she wants to be a princess. Told her she doesn’t want the job.
jf12, I don’t suppose anybody can look askance at a couple of croquet sets with a dozen balls apiece, or whatever they have. And a package of screw eyes could always come in handy around the house. Sure it isn’t “bola”?
@Morpheus
Definitely no botox.
#181 totally irrelevant, but, anyway. My sister the doctor (age 62) looks kind of like Liz Montgomery, and my good-looking brother looked (died at 57) kind of like Dick York (with dimples like Pat Monahan). My laconic other brother (56) looks like me, unfortunately for us both, sort of a lovechild of Ben Stein and Jon Cryer, and not in a good way, if there is a good way.
One problem with botox (beyond the potential for facial sagging) is the symmetry aspect. People are very in tuned to microexpressions and the face can look a little “off” from even a minor impact on facial expression.
But I still want it for between my eyes. I don’t want my mom’s “mean look”. Had to cancel my appointment this week though to take an emergency trip to my mom’s (she was down with bronchitis, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t pneumonia)…will schedule another asap.
They actually make a home laser now for collagen rejuvenation that used to only be available at the doctor’s office. I have one of those. The home laser has a wavelength of 1440nm versus 1440nm-1500nm at the doctor’s, and a depth of skin penetration of 450 microns versus 650 microns at the doctor’s. But it’s at home, so you can use it more often and it’s far more convenient. Pretty pricey though (but still much cheaper than the dr).
Again irrelevant except to what I was saying. It has been my lifelong experience that dorky looking men tend to have beautiful sisters (and daughters, for that matter), while ruggedly handsome men tend to have horse-faced sisters (and daughters). Presumably this correlation accounts for the prevalence of dorky looking men in our world, very much more overabundant than the “sexy sons” hypothesis can explain away. Although I actually have heard of some such man-jawed women being chosen for their “handsome” looks, so that they will bear handsome sons for the man, I’ve never heard of a woman choosing a dork on the (possible more valid statistically) reasoning that he’ll have attractive daughters.
” It has been my lifelong experience that dorky looking men tend to have beautiful sisters (and daughters, for that matter), while ruggedly handsome men tend to have horse-faced sisters (and daughters).”
That’s interesting. I wonder if it’s true…my husband’s sister is pretty homely. We don’t have any daughters though.
Obsidian:” Man replenishes his nutsac with someting like a million sperm an hour. That’s some seriously backed up plumbing if he doesn’t get a chance to relieve himself! ”
Obsidian: “Yes, I do seriously believe what I said,….You were saying?”
I think you need a course in basic biology and perhaps a little humility to be able to admit when you are wrong. One doesn’t have to be a urologist to know how the male prostrate works but you can go to any urologist and they will laugh you out of their office with that. And any bit of research on the internet will disprove your belief about sperm backing up and clogging up male plumbing. The ability to read and fact find is all one needs to be able to disprove this erroneous belief.
However men who doggedly believe that their sperm is backing up in his plumbing which is totally not evidenced in medical studies, can always use his hand to assist because I doubt any woman, girlfriend or wife (or male partner if he’s gay), would have the time to screw him enough to relieve him of his gazillion backed up sperm..
#191 Do it all you want, we’ll make more. I guess I shouldn’t have skipped lunch again, since I’m drifting into food slogans.
@Raz:
“I think you need a course in basic biology and perhaps a little humility to be able to admit when you are wrong.”
O: What am I wrong about? You haven’t specifically pointed this out.
“One doesn’t have to be a urologist to know how the male prostrate works but you can go to any urologist and they will laugh you out of their office with that.”
O: OK…
“And any bit of research on the internet will disprove your belief about sperm backing up and clogging up male plumbing. The ability to read and fact find is all one needs to be able to disprove this erroneous belief.”
O: Again – OK…
“However men who doggedly believe that their sperm is backing up in his plumbing which is totally not evidenced in medical studies, can always use his hand to assist because I doubt any woman, girlfriend or wife (or male partner if he’s gay), would have the time to screw him enough to relieve him of his gazillion backed up sperm..”
O: So, you say all this to say, that you agree or disagree with my remark about a Woman’s failure to put out on the regaulr for her Man is legitimate grounds for dismissal?
Your response?
O.
“So, you say all this to say, that you agree or disagree with my remark about a Woman’s failure to put out on the regaulr for her Man is legitimate grounds for dismissal?”
I may have included this quote because I cut and pasted the whole paragraph in my first response, but this isn’t what I am addressing. If it were, I would have mentioned it in my first response I posted. I disagreed with you on your belief of backed up sperm causing problems, and that is what I addressed.
Obsidian: “O: What am I wrong about? You haven’t specifically pointed this out.”
You are wrong in your statement that: “Man replenishes his nutsac with someting like a million sperm an hour. That’s some seriously backed up plumbing if he doesn’t get a chance to relieve himself! ”
Which is clearly there to be seen, man’s sperm doesn’t back in his plumbing. You know that.
@Raz:
OK. Now I am asking you about what I said in reference to a Woman not putting out on a regular basis – do you agree or disagree that a Man has a legit basis to null and void such a Woman – yes or no, and why?
Your response?
O.
@Raz:
Also: do you deny that a Man replishes his sperm – several million or so – roughly every hour or so? Yes, or no?
O.
Obsidian: “Woman not putting out on a regular basis – do you agree or disagree that a Man has a legit basis to null and void such a Woman – yes or no, and why?”
I disagree. There are many reasons that sexual performance can vary and it’s not always regular and among them can be health reasons, (emotional, psychological or physical). It’s shallow for someone to dump someone purely based on that reason alone.
Obsidian:”Also: do you deny that a Man replishes his sperm – several million or so – roughly every hour or so? Yes, or no?”
Did you read where I denied this statement? You only read where I denied that sperm backs up in a man’s plumbing. Why are you ‘looking to put words in my post or being so pugnacious as to ‘look for an argument when there isn’t one. Again, basic science, everyone knows that men produce sperm. I think I read somewhere that the average male will produce about 525 billion sperm cells over a lifetime. ..so it stands to reason they produce many in an hour…still doesn’t back up in their plumbing though. lol
Obsidian: “Woman not putting out on a regular basis – do you agree or disagree that a Man has a legit basis to null and void such a Woman – yes or no, and why?”
That can work both ways according to ‘how you think and reason’. Then men shouldn’t get angry when women leave men who don’t sexually or emotionally satisfy them on a regular basis.
@Raz:
“I disagree. There are many reasons that sexual performance can vary and it’s not always regular and among them can be health reasons, (emotional, psychological or physical). It’s shallow for someone to dump someone purely based on that reason alone.”
O: Is it shallow for a Woman to leave a Man because he is “emotionally unavailable” to her?
Obsidian:”Also: do you deny that a Man replishes his sperm – several million or so – roughly every hour or so? Yes, or no?”
“Did you read where I denied this statement? You only read where I denied that sperm backs up in a man’s plumbing.”
O: OK – so you do agree with what I said then, yes?
“Why are you ‘looking to put words in my post or being so pugnacious as to ‘look for an argument when there isn’t one.”
O: I’m not arguing with you. I am seeking to gain clarity.
“Again, basic science, everyone knows that men produce sperm. I think I read somewhere that the average male will produce about 525 billion sperm cells over a lifetime. ..so it stands to reason they produce many in an hour…still doesn’t back up in their plumbing though. lol”
O: Ok. Just so we’re clear: we both agree that a Man does indeed replenish his sperm supply hourly to the tune of millions. Gotcha. See, that wasn’t so hard, now was it?
“That can work both ways according to ‘how you think and reason’. Then men shouldn’t get angry when women leave men who don’t sexually or emotionally satisfy them on a regular basis.”
O: LOL, you’re a Woman, aren’t you? Just curious. And I don’t want to put your email out there like that. Anyway, I personally have no problem in the least with a Woman terminating a romantic association for any reason she likes. In fact, I have plans to address this point next month, so definitely stay tuned for that…
O.
A repeat PSA: these actresses don’t look like their celluloid forms, when you see them in public.
My sister was the lead female dancer for the pre-eminent modern dance company in the world, started her own company (where she danced nude for us — thanks so MUCH! — in her early 30’s), was a star in a Disney Broadway play, was a love interest for Pacino in a movie, and directed a dozen plays in Moscow. When she was offered a tenured position at Wisconsin, she turned it down, telling me, “I will never be famous in Madison, Wisconsin.”
She’s 58 now and has ‘retired’ back to Iowa. You’re thinking, Cool, beta bucks, she’s married to a rockin’ entrepreneur who builds grain bins or something, in between donating Rosenquists to the Des Moines Art Center. Nope. She looks 58. She’s broke. Her boyfriend is an omega schlub who faked disability in order to stop working and go on the dole. He can’t provide for her, or her son at Harvard, obviously, which is where I come in.
There are some hot, older movie stars but our impressions of them are not based on what they look like over breakfast. Women should not trifle with the wall and the SMP.
BV, when did your sister’s looks start going south? Also…did she had a lot of bad habits (smoking, ect?).
Obsidian: “O: I’m not arguing with you. I am seeking to gain clarity.”
No you are arguing, because clarity was right there from the start. You are asking questions purely for the sake of argument. While you may not acknowledge the difference, I can clearly tell. Nothing was unclear in the first place.
Obsidian: “O: OK – so you do agree with what I said then, yes?”
Why is it so very important to you for someone to AGREE with you? Do you feel better about yourself only when someone co-signs exactly with the way you think? Personally I could care less whether someone else agrees with me or not. I don’t seek validation or approval from anyone else’s thoughts or ideas. I’m not a follower in that way. I put my thoughts out there and I understand that people can agree or not, accept it or not, that’s the beauty of freedom of beliefs.
Obsidian: “O: Ok. Just so we’re clear: we both agree that a Man does indeed replenish his sperm supply hourly to the tune of millions. Gotcha. See, that wasn’t so hard, now was it? ;)”
No you didn’t get me Obsidian, I never disputed this in the first place. You are the one who made up an ‘argument that wasn’t there. I only refuted your claim that sperm backs up a man’s plumbing. (for the 300th time.
Obsidion: “O: Is it shallow for a Woman to leave a Man because he is “emotionally unavailable” to her?”
Yes if it isn’t a cumulative behavior and there are no extenuating circumstances behind it. No-one should be in an abusive behavior and withholding in a relationship is damaging and poisonous to it. People suffer from emotional abuse and that can take the form of emotionally withholding. There are studies that show this, children are damaged by this behavior. Behavior like this can create psychopaths.
Obsidion: “LOL, you’re a Woman, aren’t you? Just curious
Yes I am, Raz is short for Razmataz and I’m a married woman (3 years now).
But what has that got to do with anything? Sounds like a sexist question to me.
@BV 201
“where she danced nude for us — thanks so MUCH!”
PUT IT ON, PUT IT ON!
@Raz
“Personally I could care less whether someone else agrees with me or not.”
How much less?
@ O.
Why do you reply to Raz’s trolling bullsh1t? Remember the sign? “Don’t feed the trolls.”
Liz, I wouldn’t say her looks have gone south. She has the body of a professional dancer (5’4″, 110) at 58; she has a face that got her second billing in her *first* movie at 35. But she’s 58. And she looks 58. So she has her pick of the 50-70 year-old men (or, those in that range who can handle her personality, which is a much smaller number) in a small college town in the midwest, and that dating pool is about as deep as the North Platte in July.
The whole thing is ridiculous, to me. She’s broke and she’s a ward already, when she was at the top of the pyramid for 20 years ‘but wouldn’t settle.’ She should have married some guy in her 30’s and be splitting her time now between SoHo and some beach shack in Montauk. And she could have. I respect that she didn’t, in the sense that I have the highest regard for her professional achievements, but I do not respect that this is somehow a mess that other guys (moi) have to clean up. My nephew needs money just to fly home this summer. What do I get for this? A sticker on my truck.
No smoking, no inordinate booze, no bad food — ever. 4-8 hours of professional exercise a day for 30 years, now probably 2 per day. But she’s 58. In some communities she’d be a grandmother or even great-grandmother. Anyway, we all own our behavior and decisions, eventually. There is a cycle of life. Ignore it at your peril, I have started to quietly, modestly, somewhat desperately mention to my go-getter daughter.
@ obsidian I would have to look it up but there was a study several years back that did find men who (ahem) ejaculated on a regular basis did have a lower risk of prostate cancer. It’s about fighting cancer, (married and ltr) people
@Bloom
I think we need some more medical studies about the problem. Any volunteers?
Maybe we can get some medical types to consult on the research. 
I’m being bad again. Well at least it’s not Good Friday yet. lolz
“No smoking, no inordinate booze, no bad food — ever. 4-8 hours of professional exercise a day for 30 years, now probably 2 per day.”
Crap I’m definitely screwed then (never smoked though, I think that’s the big one). I’m partial to the Lincoln quote about vices (that it has been his experience people without vices have damned few virtues). But I try for moderation. Think I’ll take my morning vitamins now: collagen types I and II, and HLA. I’m not sure if it really makes my skin look and feel better or if I just want it to work so much that I perceive it as working.
My dad used to take handfuls of vitamins (and he biked every day). He started smoking at about 11 years old and boozed it up the majority of his life and lived to be 90 (he passed about a year ago, RIP). He outlived his brother and sister by several years and they had essentially no vices. But he was a very salty, weathered old guy. He didn’t look young (probably didn’t help that he was convinced the sun cured skin cancer)
I think your daughter will do well in life, BV. She sounds smart. It would be better if she could move away from the big cities though.
Liz, I think my sister remains a very (physically) attractive woman. Most would agree. It’s her socio-sexual decisionmaking that is a disaster. She’s been delusional, professionally and personally (something along the lines of “I’m just going to be myself, and I deserve to become famous and loved”). So none of that stuff applies to someone in your situation, with your values. The “I deserve I deserve I deserve” is very useful to someone cracking the code of dance, theatre and cinema (it’s a useful selfishness) but at some point it has to be tempered with reality. She’s lately discovered reality. Reality eventual melts all special snowflakes.
Both of my sisters are like this, incidentally, though they manifest it differently. (The other one is a violist; because she is chronically ill I want her to move back to our hometown so I am not trying to manage her in Texas every couple of years, there’s a social services and health safety net. Nope: that wouldn’t be “true to herself.”)
[…] Seasons Of Life: Effective Beauty Tips For The Older Woman http://www.manosphere.com/Hello everyone,. It's that time once again to feature our guest writer for Just Four Guys, and this week is someone who's been in the guest spot before – lady reader/commenter Ms. Liz, who offers some timely advice to the … […]
[…] A man can wear a bad hairstyle, Coke-bottle-bottom glasses, Star Trek T-shirts, high tide jeans, and attend comic cons. His style choices will stand for female evaluation in the SMP/MMP. And his results in the SMP/MMP will reflect that. So it is with ladies who choose their styles. By all means, do what makes you comfortable. Men will silently let you know what they find attractive and what they don’t find attractive. […]
[…] Seasons Of Life: Effective Beauty Tips For The Older Woman http://www.manosphere.com/Hello everyone,. It's that time once again to feature our guest writer for Just Four Guys, and this week is someone who's been in the guest spot before – lady reader/commenter Ms. Liz, who offers some timely advice to the … […]
Excellent article. I am just dealng with some among these issues as
well..
Feel free to surf to my page; hacks downloa (Susannah)
I am now not positive where you are getting your information, but good topic.
I must spend a while finding out much more or working out more.
Thank you for magnificent information I used to be looking for this
info for my mission.
Hi thегe, I enjoy reading through your article.
I wanted to write a littlе comment to support
you.
[…] is physically active and works out regularly. She watches her weight, eats well, and cares about her appearance. She takes care of her skin and does her best to prevent aging. Liz is a hottie in her own right, […]
It’s probably pointless to reflect on an old post, but in the past couple of weeks I’ve had occasion to reflect on older women, and by that I mean women my own age. I usually date younger.
I note that my ex-, she of college life and a 20 year marriage, is 10 days younger than I am and I had wife goggles through and after the divorce. This is something that women grossly undervalue if they don’t overlook it entirely. (Wife goggles are so powerful that lately, in dating a woman whose college photos remind me of my ex-, I enjoy wife goggles by proxy. A little weird, but whatever works.)
Okay, in the past couple of weeks I’ve dated mature women. Qualities that I particularly enjoy with peers, that are often unavailable with much younger women are:
1. Realism and humor about men and women, being able to joke about how we want and do different things.
2. Being valued for being a man. Older women have more experience with post-feminist androgynous men. Some of them have had too much experience of them.
3. The ability to provide comfort in a domestic environment, his or hers.
4. If a professional, three decades of experience and hence the ability to talk shop.
5. Mature experiences with children, the education rackets, and divorce law.
All of these qualities make a woman very attractive. They do not compensate for poor fitness, lousy dress, an inclination to talk about how she is a ‘survivor’ of this or that, inept sexual skills (a mature woman should courtesan-level skills if she wants to keep a man; after all, she likely expects alpha-gigolo skills from any man), or being a financial sponge.
One of my older dates would make a great wife. She and I have much in common, so far as I can tell; then we have an odd common experience in that she was a cheerleader for an opposing football team in college, and she remembers the game when I was carted off on a spine board. I didn’t know how to tell her, when she flew out from Pittsburg, that I had no sexual interest so LJBF. Her fitness level is poor. She’s not fat, she just looks like a grandmother and we’re not well-matched that way.
The other of my older dates is an extremely fit (as in 6x a week) athlete. She’s a very sexual woman but exceedingly self-centered (as in, ‘hey you’re a guy, you take care of what you need to take care of). She also is not a communicator. I like her very much and she just got her pilots license and we talk about that stuff. But again, LJBF.
In general, older women would be well to remember that they need to develop skills and attributes — as do we men — that offset the depredations of time. Very few do.
My favorite older woman friend is 65, a retired finance exec for fortune 50 companies, extremely rotund, and a semi-closeted homosexual. She is brilliant and she is kind, witty and brilliant at the domestic arts. We go to the opera and we go to the Nats games and drink beer. We JBF.
BV I have heard more than one guy say similar, that they intellectually relate better to women their age than younger women, but of course youth is attractive and as I age I am only starting to appreciate how glorious most young people look and I wish I had been more confident myself in my youth. Now I get why they say youth is wasted on the young!
The wife goggles phenomenon is interesting, I agree there is something to that. That would make a good J4G post topic.
Wife goggles: a man in love is finished. For there is no male hypergamy. I bet that most every guy on here would be thrilled to have a weekend with his first love.
European women are smarter about aging. American women dismiss the erotic arts and then wonder why they’re alone. Mature European women take pride in things other than slamming men against the wall of the State.
The wife goggles phenomenon is interesting, I agree there is something to that. That would make a good J4G post topic.
It is very real. Might be hard to make an entire post out of it.
I started dating my wife when she was 32 and looked like she was 20-21 (I was 32 as well). At the time, she was “blonde” and a size 0, and early on she was actually sporting long blonde extensions. Her look pretty much pushed every one of my attraction buttons. She is 40 now (still routinely passes for late 20s, I am 40 as well), but she is back to her natural hair color, and has gained some weight, but she is still beautiful to me.
I started dating my ex-wife when I was 22 and she was 23. She was quite the hottie at 23 (judging from the male reaction when we went places). She’ll be 42 soon, and hasn’t aged well. I saw a recent pic I was sent as she remarried not too long ago. When I saw it, TBH, I was kinda like “ugh”. When those emotions of love die, those goggles that help to see beauty stop functioning.
There is some data from OKCupid which is fascinating that you can take and run with in a million directions. It showed that at any age, men basically find 20-25 year olds most attractive whereas women found most attractive men of their own age give or take a few year on the extreme ends. I think what happens with 40+ and 50+ women is a case of projection in that they assume 40+ and 50+ men will find them just as attractive as the women find the men. They appear to have no conception whatsoever of the magnitude of male attraction to women depending on whether we are talking 20, 30, 40, or 50. Its only when they are back on the market do they realize the “invisibility”.
Good points morphus. Maybe a post as simple as “( lead with the definition of wife goggles, maybe an example or two) then… What do you think, readers of j4g? Share your thoughts on wife goggles, do they exist or no? If so what works and doesn’t for you as far as wife goggle moments?” And the comments can go from there? Just thinking out loud… since you are all so busy maybe sometimes to keep things going it could just be a short lead in like that to spark discussion rather than feel you need to write full blown posts?
I’m not sure why but this website is loading very slow for me.
Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end?
I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.
You are in control at all times, adapting the diet to suit your individuality,
needs and preferences. Keeping blood sugar at
healthy levels can prevent diabetic retinopathy from getting worse.
Apple cider vinegar has often been touted as a miracle remedy and it
could prove true for diabetes.