How To Handle “Nuclear Rejections”

“I don’t know if anyone has mentioned it, but with the explosion of social media, it makes nuclear rejections much more public. Ready for my sad experience?

One night my only single guy friend and I go out to the bar for drinks and hoping to meet people. After about 2-3 beers I begin to scan the room. I see a decent looking girl, not really good looking but slightly above average ( I don’t have the confidence to go after someone I really find hot yet ). She is scrolling through her phone and her drink is almost empty. I work up what courage I had and approach.

She moves her entire body towards me, phone still in her hands. She smiles and says ” you actually think you have a shot with me? Get the fuck outta here”. Needless to say I was stung by that… Until she turned the phone. She had put the entire rejection on Snapchat, and proceeded to send that all to her friends. Then add in an offhand comment ” I should put this on Facebook hahaha.”

Needless to say, haven’t approached in a while. I’m lucky we don’t have any friends in common, cause that would suck.”

The above quotation is a particularly ugly Field Report, delivered during last week’s discussion on Preselection by J4G reader Nekros. And as ugly and no doubt painful as it was for him, I for one am thankful that he took the time out to post it, as it shines a searing light on something that, to be frank, really hasn’t gotten the attention it deserves: the Rise of Nuclear Rejections in our time.

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J4G Mailbag: “Slut Q&A With Ms. Esa”

Greetings everyone,
It’s Thursday, which means that once again it’s that time to reach into the J4G Mailbag to see who’s there. This time around though, it isn’t a “letter” per se, but rather a series of questions put to me by a very interesting young lady named Ms. Esa, of Very Smart Brothas fame. Recently, while discussing the untimely passing of an adult entertainer there by name of Ms. Sexy Climax, Ms. Esa asked me the aforementioned questions. I thought they were perfect for the Just Four Guys audience and asked her permission to post them, along with my replies, here. She has graciously consented.

Before we begin, and for the benefit of the J4G readership, let’s put Ms. Esa’s questions into a more proper context; here is an edited version of my commentary as it appeared on VSB last week:

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Seasons Of Life: Effective Beauty Tips For The Older Woman

Hello everyone,

It’s that time once again to feature our guest writer for Just Four Guys, and this week is someone who’s been in the guest spot before – lady reader/commenter Ms. Liz, who offers some timely advice to the more mature ladies out there so as to get their “girl game” on track. While the primary focus here at J4G is on Men’s Issues, from time to time we’ll feature a lady writer whom we think says something worthwhile for everyone to hear. Ms. Liz is one of those lady writers.

Let’s face it: not only is the American population getting older, but this is true throughout the world; per Al Gore’s book “The Future: Six Drivers Of Global Change”, babies born today can expect lifespans exceeding 120 years on average(!). Very soon – within our lifetimes in fact – 50 will be the new 30. The times are a’changin’; and we all must change with it. Getting older doesn’t have to mean gettting worse – life CAN be good, IF you know how to work it. That, is the focus of Ms. Liz’s column today.

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Skeptical at First, a Girl Tries Girl Game

I’d like to offer up a warm welcome to Emily L and thank her for contributing this guest post.

Emily L and I came into contact over at the excellent blog,, which provides advice for women from a rather blunt man, Andrew, who tells it how he sees it.  Emily read my post, Girl Game is so Simple and Yet so Hard, and started implementing some of the ideas.  Without further ado, I’ll hand the mic to Emily.

[Guest post by Emily L]

Girl Game Really is that Simple

After taking myself off the dating market for a while, I began reading various blogs to better understand navigating relationships, particularly to understand men. I found Han’s post, “Girl Game is so Simple and Yet so Hard,” through another blog I enjoy reading, The Rules Revisited. The skeptic in me thought it was so sexist to preach to women that they needed to be “pretty,” and worst of all was the ridiculous meat-characterizing of people into “leagues.” After all, men should accept a woman just as she is. They shouldn’t be materialistic, nor should they label a woman as being below their league (they’ll fuck her but not want to date her). I’ll admit being guilty of labeling men as “not my type” (aka below my league), but it really hurts when the shoe’s on the other foot!

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What if We All Showed Our Hands?

[By deti]

While we have been talking all about the very, very real phenomenon of Lane Changing and Alpha Fux, Beta Bux, Obsidian raised a very good question here:

“In light of all that you know about the Red Pill, et al, if a Woman simply leveled with you and told you, upfront, before anything jumped off, what her “N” is, and how it all went down, would you be cool with that or not?”

And that got me to thinking: What if we flipped this around and posed it back to ladies as follows:

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J4G Mailbag: “Ferrum Throws Down The Gender Gauntlet”

What’s good folks – it’s that time once again to reach into the J4G Mailbag and see what’s in there. This week’s letter comes from a newcomer to J4G, a reader by name of Mr. Ferrum Itzal, who proffers a highly provocative premise: that Women, taken together as a group, do what they do because of inherent feelings of inferiority in comparison to Men – and it is this, that undergirds the Feminist Project.

Something tells me this is gonna be a braburner barnburner of a post.

So, without further ado, here’s Mr. Ferrum!

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Behold The Almighty Power Of Preselection

“There’s a scene in Legally Blonde where Elle Woods returns home to campus and notices her awkward friend David trying to pick up a pretty girl. “You’re a dork”, replies the girl. “Girls like me don’t go out with guys like you.” Elle hurries over to David and slaps him. “Why didn’t you call me? Why spent a beautiful night together and I haven’t heard from you since.” David plays along as the pretty girl watches attentively. After Elle stalks off, the pretty girl returns to David. “So when did you wanna go out?”
-A Billion Wicked Thoughts, pp. 117

Thanks to last week’s letter from Will, the Question of Preselection came up in the ensuing comments and was discussed at some length; today, we go one step further, focusing precisely on what Preselection is, how and why it works, and how YOU can see it in action for yourself – for we here at J4G don’t truck in make believe or airy-fairy theories that sound great on blogs and chats, but don’t do Jack out in the real. Of all the tools in the Gamesman’s box, Preselection ranks as one of, if not the strongest.

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J4G Guest Post: “The Fight For Reproductive Rights”, By Black Yoda

Greetings folks,

It’s that time once again to feature this week’s guest writer on J4G; and it is none other than Mr. Black Yoda! Yes, that Black Yoda. He’s got a great operation going on over at Facebook too, check him out.

This week, Black Yoda focuses on an issue that I for one have long been saying will finally catch on – Reproductive Rights for ALL – Women, AND Men. BY makes some powerful points here, y’all. Check it out – and register your comments below!

OK, so give it up for Black Yoda!

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Marriage and Civilization

Here’s an interesting summary of the book, MARRIAGE AND CIVILIZATION: HOW MONOGAMY MADE US HUMAN:

The original family made a decision that separated them from our pre-human prehistory. A choice — I’m with her, and she is with me exclusively — was the tipping point that made us human and gave us a beneficial leg up on the monkey-mix from whence we sprang.

In the beginning, it made natural-selection sense for a man and a women to pair off for hunting and gathering, and this condition lasted 5 million years. In the safety of the jungle, polygamy works for the alpha male and the offspring are attended to. Once you step outside the jungle and into the open plains, sexual equity becomes a requirement of survival for the offspring.

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J4G Mailbag: “What About Dexter?”

Greetings Everyone,
It’s that time once again to reach into the J4G Mailbag and see who’s there; this time around, a new reader who wishes to known only as “Will”, a Brotha who identifies himself as a Dexter (more on this below), writes the following; I’ll add my commentary afterwards:

“Hey O,

I know you’ve written extensively about “Tyrone”… but what about Dexter?

He’s an upstanding brotha from a good family and a good neighborhood. He never got in much trouble in school and got good grades. He was too much of a “nerd” and a “lame” for most of girls in his neighborhood so he doesn’t really meet any girls until late high school that payed him any attention. Not to mention how much of a “nice” boy he was. He saw many of his friends do well with girls by treating them like dirt and cheating on them profusely but he didn’t want to hurt his “dream girl” if he met her. ‘Wait until college’ they said… ‘then the girls will be all over you’.

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Much has been written and touched on of late regarding the phenomenon of “lane changing”.   Essentially this is the phenomenon I described in my post on the  “Just Treat Women as People” mating strategy.

“The opening gambit is a short term sexual strategy designed for rapid results and a longshot at commitment from a high value man. When it ultimately fails after an indefinite number of attempts, the tactic shifts to the long range goal of marriage to a “sure thing” beta. The strategy shift usually has nothing to do with the individual man, but on a number of other factors: (1) her perception of her interests, (2) her age, (3) her ability (or inability) to continue attracting high status men; and (4) the totality of all other surrounding circumstances.”

Some argue there is no such thing as “lane changing”.   The argument is that people always “stay in their lanes”.   In other words, if a particular woman is an alpha chaser, always seeking the thrill of the next new hot guy, that’s pretty much how she is and how she will always be, into adulthood and middle age.   Similarly, girls who are relationship seekers, looking for that one special guy, are always like this, and they don’t ever change either.

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Is “Alpha Fux, Beta Bux” Real?‏

“18 years, 18 years
She got one of your kids, got you for 18 years
I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids
His baby mamma’s car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV any given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was supposed to buy your shorty TYCO with your money
She went to the doctor got lypo with your money
She walking around looking like Michael with your money
Should’ve got that insured got GEICO for your money, money, money
If you ain’t no punk holla we want prenup
It’s something that you need to have
‘Cause when she leave yo ass she gonna leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn’t his?”
-Kanye’ West

We begin today’s discussion with the above quotation, which is actually the second verse from rapper and super-producer Kanye’ West’s song “Gold Digger”, which can be found on his sophmore album release, “Late Registration”. The song came out in the Summer of 2005, and by that early Fall had reached Number One on the Billboard charts, along with reaching that same position on a half dozen other music charts. Additionally, the song had more than 80K digital downloads in its first week of release, eventually sold more than 3M copies in the USA alone, and would be one of the ten most successful singles of the previous decade.

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What Blue Pill Betas Have in Common With The Red

[Guest Post by A Definite Beta Guy]

UIC is not an exceptional place.

It’s one of those “fill in the cracks” universities. Illinois needed a Chicago campus. At the time, GIs needing an education would take a 2 year-stint at “Harvard on the Rocks” for a 2 year stint. But this community college was no Greendale. UIC was a little set of buildings along the gorgeous shores of Lake Michigan, atop the stunning Navy Pier, with some of the most beautiful views of America’s Second City.

After two years, GIs would be whisked to the flagship land-grant deep in the Corn-fields of the state. Believe you me, I’ve been both places many a time, and a campus alongside the Lake, in my favorite city, would be a piss-your-pants worthy experience compared to the shit-hole that is Urbana, or pretty much any other university in the US.

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J4G Mailbag: “Star Child’s Quandary”

One of the things we here at J4G want to do, is expand our territory and footprint, by actually reaching out to our readers – who are quite far-flung and diverse, we are very happy to report. Over the course of roughly the next month or so, we want to try our hands at an experiment: can J4G go “full auto” in terms of fresh content everyday?

We’re about to find out!

On the “off” days” here at J4G – Tuedays and Thursdays – we’ll be featuring guest posts and letters to the J4G team. If you would like to be a guestie or have your letter featured here at Just Four Guys, get at me:, and let’s talk!

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Women Are More Picky

A speed dating study below shows that women are more than 2x pickier than men.


We know that people marry later and less frequently than 50 years ago. Delving into the reasons why can sometimes give rise to men saying that women are the ones delaying it to pursue curricular and extracurricular activities or because they’re too picky. Not content to be “left behind” women will fire back that men are just as picky or more.

Where does the truth lie?

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