LTR Game & The Great Recession

*This article originally appeared on The Spearhead, Jun 30, 2010[1].

OK fellas, the Summer is officially here, we’re about a week out from the Nation’s birthday, and…you’re brokedown and busted financially. Hopefully, you’re not one of the more than a million “hobos” Congress fronted on the other night and halted your hard earned UC bennies-but wherever you find yourself on the socioeconomic ladder these days, everybody’s feeling the crunch, and this is especially true of you’re a Brotha-let’s face it, we tend to have a tougher time of it financially than do our White brethren, in aggregate.

So, in this post I wanna try to address a few points that go right to the heart of your love life and by extension, your Game. The great Carl Jung once said that every moment in time is good for something, if you but figure out what, and I say true dat-this Great Recession is an excellent time to determine how tight your overall Game is. I say that because the most commonly used “form” of Game, is what I call Wallet Game-the guy simply attempts to buy his way into a Woman. While this can and often does work, it is very, very corrupting on a whole host of levels-first off, it makes a Man lazy. We Men are serious creatures of habit, which explains why so many of us fail at Game to begin with. It’s so much easier to simply buy ole gal a frilly frock than to really appeal to her natural born instincts as a Woman and her desire for a psychosocially dominant Man. This is why guys who are loaded, *and* have no or very weak Game, lose their Women to other guys so very quickly-money alone, simply ain’t it used to be anymore, people. The sooner a Man figures this out, the better off he’ll be when it comes to Women.

Another reason why “Wallet Game” is weak is because it is contingent on your cash flow and your cash flow alone-and as we all can see as of late, such a thing can come and go like a thief in the night, right? So when the loot runs out…so does she, if that’s all you had to offer her in the first place.

On the other hand, if you’ve been diligently honing your Seduction skills, studying Womens’ ways, taking stock of yourself and making adjustments, and more, you’ll find that the current economic climate isn’t that impactful to you at all. Of course, one could always use more cream, no doubt about it-but, for the skilled Gamesman, it just isn’t as big a factor, if at all, as it is for the poor saps who have nothing else to hang their hat on.

So, let’s take a look at a few things…

Me and Brown Sugah went out recently to a very nice venue, and we both couldn’t help but notice a most disturbing trend-all of the ladies were dressed so nice in their summer dresses, their hair was did up, makeup looking good-and ALL the fellas looked like they just came from off the Appalachian trail, or came out from working under a muscle car changing the muffler, or were so sloppy/unkepmt/out of shape as to give the whole of Manhood a seriously bad name. In my humble view, they might as well to be walking around with a sandwich board that said “please come an PWN me and take my Woman right from under my nose”.

Fellas, I thought we’ve gone over this before-you gotta clean yourself up, hmm? That means, if you’re gonna take your Woman out somewhere, that means that you DON’T wear:

Sneakers. You’re a grown-assed Man, look like one. Unless you’re running errands, running ball or just busting it up with the homies on the block, there isn’t really any reason why you need to be wearing sneaks on an outing with your girl. Get some shoes, or if preferable, boots, which is my shot. But please, whatever you do, NO Timberlands. Why? Because Trees are for one thing, over-saturated-every guy wears em. They infer nothing unique about you at all; you seen one guy with a pair of Tims on, you seen em all. Remember, you gotta specialize. Personally, I wear anything BUT Tims, and this is coming from someone who’s quite a few pair-but only because of the nature of my work profile. I couldn’t get out of those things quick enough come quitting time, LOL.

Now, for me, I like to wear stuff that best expresses my personality, who I am on the inside and I bring that out. So, another reason why I tend to wear boots is because it’s a nod to my motorbike days-so yup, I tend to wear biker type boots. In fact, I’ve got on a pair right now that I copped last month on the humbug-I was just walking down the Ave in my native Philly, and decided to dip into one o the many sneaker/footwear shops. Once inside I checked out the Men’s footwear section; they had the obligatory Timberlands. But I noticed that they also had a couple of nice pair of boots, and the one that jumped out at me reminded me of some boots I had many years ago. So I copped em, took em home, gave em a Marine Corps spit shine, and the rest as they say, is history. I’ve gotten compliments on em from guys and gals alike-even a gaggle of 12 year old girls liked em. Try getting that kind of fever with some run of the mill Trees.

Next, this droopy pants thing has gotta stop, chief. That, put together with the “beach bum” short deal I see far too many Brothas doing, just ain’t gonna get it. While I own both khakis and dress slacks, for most times whe you’re taking your lady out jeans will do just fine. But here’s the trick-its the type of jean and its cut and fit. I mean, think about it-does Anderson Cooper wear droppy jeans? Does Hugh Jackman have his underwear all out on display? Nope. And neither should you. Get some jeans with a nice cut and fit, top if off with a nice belt. I like to wear bootcuts since I tend to wear boots a goodly bit. Take some time to actually try on different types and brands of jeans, Man. Trust me when I tell you, no one, including your girl, really is all that interested in looking at your saggy jeans wearing butt.

Shirts-that whole wife beater thing? Dead it. You’re taking your Woman OUT, NOT lifting weights with the homies in the yard, hmm? Same deal with the Shaggy style supa dupa long tee shirts-uh uh. Here’s a novel idea: try wearing a shirt that one, actually fits properly and two, actually looks nice? And I don’t mean you gotta spend a fortune on em either-you can hit up many a vendor for some for nominal cost. I have, iin fact I’m wearing such a shirt right now. It’s fitted, olive green, with a black gryphon on each side of the chest & wings on the back-definitely urban, but it looks nice. I have a number of shirts like that when I’m going out & can “dial it up or down” in terms of shirts depending on the venue. One of my favorite types of shirts to wear are the military style, real durable and they’re cheap. And, if you’re gonna work tees, make them fitted ones. No one wants to see you in the equivalent of a burlap bag.

Now, personally, I wear shades a lot, but not because I’m trying to look cool-well, maybe just a little. But the major reason is because I have very light sensitive eyes, and when its really bright out, it hurts. In the summers it is not at all unusual for me to wear my aviators until sundown. Here’s the thing though-you gotta make sure whatever shades you’re gonna wear actually fits your face and the size/shape of your head. Otherwise, you’ll win up clowning yourself. Yes, people are indeed laughing at you.

Cuts and smell goods, general grooming and the like should at this point go without saying, but given that I’ve recently had to endure multiple Brothas on the bus who were so damned funky that I almost hurled and passed out, I gotta speak on this yet again-fellas, I get that times are hard, but damn Man, the dollar store got deo and soap, you dig me? I know because I done made use of that option myself many a time when the ends were low. Same deal with cuts-like Brown Sugah said, and she’s right, if you can’t afford to hit up the barbershop on the regular, invest in a pair of clippers and go for self. I know quite a few Brothas who’ve done this. Looking like a Mountain Man just ain’t cool. Same deal with the smell goods-how many times do I have to say that Women have a stronger sense of smell than we do-especially around that time of the month, or when they’re pregnant? Don’t take my word for it, ask them. You coming through with the funk to overpower Bigfoot…uh uh. Granted, errbody can’t afford to go in for say, Armani’s Aqua Di Gio, but surely you can put together $5 for some Muslim oils? Again, I’ve been there done that and haven’t had any complaints. As long as you’re clean, smell non-funky and look somewhat together, for most Women, you’re good to go. It’s a kinda low bar, and that’s kinda sad, but it is what it is. The good news, on the other hand, is if you’re a guy who understands all this, and diligently works to put your best foot forward, you’ll have no trouble in the least “breaking the ice” and/or keeping your Woman in love/lust with you. Trust me when I tell you, they are acutely aware of the fact that Men like you are in short supply.

The great thing about all this is, that it don’t cost a lot, fellas. You can get cleaned up for a mere fraction of the cost that it take for most Women, trust me. Those boots I was telling you about? They cost me half the price I would have paid for some Trees, and I got a lot more compliments on em, too. Shirt I mentioned? $20. Jeans? $40. Shades? $25. Toss in the $15 I pay for a cut/shave, and another $25 for the Paris Hilton for Men I got on, and you’re looking at under $200-trust me, Women can easily spend that on getting their hair/nails/toes and maybe eke out a dress alone. Take some time to look nice, Man. It don’t cost a lot.

Now, let’s go to the next thing, which is taking your lady out on a tight budget. First of all, what I’m about to say assumes that you’re already in a LTR; she’s earned her spot and its only right to do right by her. It’s important for Women that you take them out periodically. Women are much more socially inclined than we fellas are; so, being cooped up in the crib, while it may not be a big whup to you, can be problematic for them. Plus, being out and about signals to everyone that you’re together, which is huge for Women; trust me, few if any Women wanna be a Bootycall, or think that they are, because you never take them out. Like anything else in life, your LTR is an investment; what you put in, is what you get back. You invest some time and ends in your Woman, and the ROI can be quite substantial.

The great thing about the Summertime, is that you can find a lot to do for very little cost. Take some to find out what’s going on in your town; I like what T aka Ricky Raw said about knowing your town and how important this is for a Man. Women HATE planning outings and dates, and would much rather her guy do it. Personally, I’m a big fan of waterfronts and piers, sidewalk cafes and parks. Usually such venues are in the middle of or near other events that are going on, so that gives plenty of opportunities for spontaneity, too. Have some sense of where your going, know the lay of the land, what things cost, etc. Have it all planned out as much as you can. Usually, all this won’t run you more than a Benjamin or so, and again if you’re creative and have done your homework beforehand, and/or if you’re someone who can improvise on the fly like me, you’ll be able to keep your love life strong even as the economy crumbles around us. Keep in mind, the hospitality business is hurtin BAD-and by that I mean, anyplace where people go to chillout, relax and have a good time, which includes the aforementioned venues. Trust me, there are deals galore. The greeter gal at the spot me and Brown Sugah went to practically begged us to have a sit, and it turned out to be quite nice.

Alright, that’s it. Come on fellas, you can do this!

Now adjourn your grimy asses…

The Obsidian

[1] http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/06/30/ltr-game-the-great-recession/

The Evolutionary Psychology Behind Politics (Book Review By Crisis Era Dynamo)

(Editor’s Note): Greetings everyone! Hoping you all are enjoying the final days of Summer, 2014. This month’s book review by J4G regular contributor Crisis Era Dynamo has to do with a book that’s been popping up on my radar of late but didn’t have the chance to check out. Now that I’ve read CED’s review, it’s definitely going on my “must read” list! Here’s his review of “The Evolutionary Psychology Behind Politics” - and for more about the underpinnings of the book, be sure to checkout this excellent interview of Prof. David M. Buss, one of the world’s foremost researchers in the field of Evolutionary Psychology, at the famed HBES conference!

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Reciprocity for the Strong Independent Woman

Recently a blog posting by a certain Matt Walsh ignited a tempest in this part of the internet.  His essay entitled “Dear single dudes: it’s time to man up” urged a return to the traditional courting behavior for men, because women “deserve it”.  Walsh’s post inspired a pointed rebuttal from J4G’s Deti and an enthusiastic endorsement from Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach to strong independent women of a certain age.  Several of J4G regulars joined in the discussion with Katz – Obsidian in an email exchange, and others including Morpheus and myself in the comment section in his blog.  This discussion spawned not one, but two follow up posts here at J4G.  And if that wasn’t enough, Dr. Jeremy Nicholson joined the fray with his own thoughts on how men should court women.  All these posts have generated an enormous response, with both spirited conversations and contentious debates.  The four J4G posts alone generated a total 2,223 comments as I write this, with the last one accounting for 866 of the total.  Clearly we have a winning topic here!  But after all this virtual ink has been spilled, can anything else be added to the conversation?  I think so, both because the issue of human courtship is infinitely nuanced, and because people never tire of the topic.  After all, we’ve been having the same argument about who opens the door for the last fifty years!

The aspect of courtship that I will take a closer look at is reciprocity – specifically, how can women reciprocate for the effort and expense that men put into courtship, in non-sexual ways.  I am making these assumptions in the following discussions: both the man and the woman are interested in pursuing a permanent, committed relationship, possibly involving marriage and/or children; that the man chooses to court the woman in pursuit of this relationship;  and that the woman wants to encourage the man to court her.  This is a discussion of what a woman who is being courted can do to encourage her suitor.  It is not a discussion of whether courting is an advisable strategy for men in today’s SMV.

Reciprocity vs Female Entitlement

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Cards Against Harassment: Obsidian’s Coda (For Now)

“I’ll be your Huckleberry; that’s just my game. Say when?”

-Val Kilmer/Doc Holliday, “Tombstone”

As something of an endnote on the “issue” of “street harassment” (for now, at least), I thought to offer the following final email exchange between your correspondent, and Ms. Lindsey, of “Cards Against Harassment”; I leave it to you, the J4G audience, to hash out the details and come to your own conclusions:

OBSIDIAN:

Hello Ms. Lindsey,
Just wanted to drop this quick note to thank you so much for taking the time out to chat a bit with me; as you can now see, the “supplemental” post following up our conversation has itself garnered nearly 200 comments; put that together with said original post featuring our exchange, and the comment total tips toward 500 in all(!). I think the sheer volume of response on the part of Men from all walks of life on this issue really should say something to you.

Also, I want to thank you again for being one of the relatively few ladies on your side of the aisle who is actually willing to chat with the other side; as I have noted previously, all of the Sista SJW/Feminist types only wish to surround themselves with sycophants, which tells me that they don’t even believe in the stuff they’re peddling, so weak their “arguments” are. Here’s yours truly’s take on Ms. Feminista Jones’ “#YouOKSis” “campaign”:

http://www.justfourguys.com/cards-against-harassment-supplemental-a-conversation-between-two-ladies/#comment-121096

As I said, I very much am looking forward to chatting with you on all of this if you’re so inclined. Much appreciated!

MS. LINDSEY:

I am only responding to your email so I can disabuse you of the notion that my engaging with you to decline your original invitation to “debate” about street harassment (a decision based on the fundamentally abhorrent, misogynistic tone of your garbage heap of a website) is somehow a badge of honor distinguishing me from women with more important work to do (i.e. FJ) who don’t trouble themselves with people who think a varied vocabulary makes their hateful philosophies less damaging. If other advocates ignore you, it’s not because they are threatened by your ideas. It’s not because they are averse to dialogue or afraid of disagreement. It is because you, specifically, are not worth the energy.  I am not clicking your links, I have not visited your site since scanning your initial post long enough to spot the “self described” factual inaccuracy introducing our emails. And I don’t intend to, as I find it to be the blog equivalent of a few guys (four, perhaps) angrily ejaculating into a shared slop bucket and then proudly applauding themselves for what they’ve contributed.

I sincerely hope you find peace with whatever personal challenges have left you with so much contempt for women. In the meantime, please do not write me again.
OBSIDIAN:
Hello Ms. Lindsey,
I am only responding because it is important for you to know that not only do you and your ilk (i.e., Ms. Feminista Jones) do not speak for “all” Women - the #WomenAgainstFeminism social media campaign has made that clear - but that your personal attacks on what you think you know about me (a Man who is happily mated to a wonderful lady of more than five years running; we just spent another lovely day together earlier, in fact) only strengthens my position: that your side doesn’t want to debate because you know that you don’t have a leg to stand on. That’s not a personal dig, but, as I have proven, an evident fact.That the best your side can do on that score is a series of personal assaults, dissimulation, extreme defensiveness toward anyone who dares to raise any questions whatsoever and a proffering of the thin veneer of moral legitimacy, isn’t just narcissistic in extremis, it is the very height of emotional manipulativeness. Your side doesn’t debate because it can’t.Thank you bearing that fact out.:)
O.
***********************************************************************************
Never, ever, mess with a Man who buys his bandwith by the barrel.
Folks, the best way to combat any rabid ideology is with lots of sunlight, reason, logic, evidence and debate – for it is within the crucible of debate, that the Truth is found. That the other side can’t won’t debate anyone who dares to question them, that they personally attack anyone who does so – and this includes other Women, as the aforementioned #WAF campaign shows, I remind everyone reading along - really tells you all you need to know about these self-appointed SJWs.
Just to be clear: no Man, not here, not anywhere else in the Manosphere, has signed off on or condones violence, or public indecency in the form of exposing oneself, and other egregious claims the other side purports (but utterly fails to offer anything in the way of damning evidence, funny that) – but, as Mr. Rom Wills, who will soon be joining the J4G contributing team has pointed out (among a great many other excellently astute J4G commenters), what this is really all about, is a Whole Lotta Butthurt that said Special Snowflakes didn’t get approached by Mr. Big, and instead got approached by Men who they thought were beneath them. And instead of merely admitting that so we all can get on with the business of living Life on its own terms, they want to make their personal butthurt the bane of everyone else’s existence. In the words of a “fellow traveler” of Ms. Lindsey, that is just sick, and says a hella more about them, than it ever will about any of those they ostensibly oppose.
Stay tuned for more commentary from yours truly on this issue. They say that they want a conversation about all of this…
…well, now they got one.
Now adjourn your arses…
The Obsidian
O.

SFC Ton’s Survival Series: On Pistols

Greetings Everyone,

Not long after J4G got off the ground, one of the things we wanted to focus on was doing all we could to give Men in our time the tools with which to navigate early 21st century life in as many dimensions as possible – including how to survive when the you-know-what hits the fan. Original J4G Ted D stepped up to the plate in this regard with a very good series on Survivalism (which can be seen here, here and here) and which is excellent must-read. Today, we continue in that vein with the introduction of J4G regular commenter SFC Ton’s series on the same topic – just in time for the 9th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.

SFC Ton’s bona fides are formidable - a career Military Man, having served in the U.S. Army as a sniper. His duties have taken him around the globe in some of the world’s most inhospitable – and dangerous – environments. We at J4G are pleased and fortunate to have him share his expertise in these matters. So, with that said, here’s SFC Ton!

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Cards Against Harassment Supplemental: A Conversation Between Two Ladies

“Walking down the street watching ladies go by
Watching you”

-Slave

As a quick followup on yesterday’s discussion, I thought the following conversation between two ladies I ran across online really does shine a much-needed light onto the issue of street harassment and such in our time.

As a number of readers have rightly pointed out, “street harassment” is really another way of saying (badly executed/executed by the Wrong Guy) Day Game - a form of Game that is applied in everyday, daytime scenarios, instead of in nightlife environments like the club, bar, lounge and so forth. The conversation between the two ladies, who for purposes of this discussion I will designate as “Lady A” and “Lady B”, touches on this point in what I consider to be a very thoughtful way.

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“Harassed By Reality”: A Conversation With Ms. Lindsey Of “Cards Against Harassment”

“We cannot mistake absolutism for principle, or substitute spectacle for politics, or treat name-calling as reasoned debate.”
-Barack Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States, 2nd Inaugural Address, Jan 21, 2013

(Editor’s Note): Your correspondent recently had the chance to chat a bit with the founder of the website Cards Against Harassment, one Ms. Lindsey, a self-described young, attractive single White Lady Professional living and working in the City of Minneapolis (home of the Great Prince!). CAH’s mission is interesting – via hidden camera, Ms. Lindsey records what she considers to be “offenders” and then “cards” them – giving them business cards that outline said “offences” and enters into a bit of “corrective” dialogue with said “offenders” on their ostensibly sexist ways. As street harassment continues to garner more attention in the mainstream press, your correspondent thought it equally important to provide a counter voice of reason and critique, raising questions that the MSM are highly unlikely to broach, for obvious reasons.

On Aug 2, 2014, yours truly emailed Ms. Lindsey for an interview; she declined, but our exchange below serves as an interesting substitute. She has graciously consented to my reposting said email conversation in full, here at J4G. It has only been slightly altered to allow for links in the relevant places. As always, I leave it to you, J4G’s educated readers, to come to your own conclusions: who is right, and who is wrong here: Ms. Lindsey, or the O-Man? Have your say in the comments, and tell a friend – such a discussion is hugely important.

Here we go…

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Is There Such A Thing As A “Black Incel”? (Guest Post By Ms. Jhane Sez)

Greetings everyone,
Today’s post is actually a comment from the Elliot Rodger discussion a little while back, by a very sharp lady I came across over at Very Smart Brothas by name of Ms. Jhane Sez. At my request she has offered what I consider to be some very interesting views on the question of the Black Incel. Check it out, and hit me with your thoughts!

BLACK INCELS

As someone said earlier I believe that black incels exists but just in smaller numbers and for different reasons, than non black incels.

BLACK MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO TAKE AN ANY PORT IN A STORM APPROACH

Brothas have the advantage of the jump off and THOT (that hoe over there) culture where the entry bar to easy sex is low and the cost minimal… because the requirements for sex, don’t take into account factors like looks, economics, number of children, etc… the purpose of these arrangements are purely sexual.

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How Should Men Court Women Again? Thoughts on The Conversation Between Obsidian and Evan Mark Katz (Guest Post By Dr. Jeremy Nicholson aka “The Attraction Doctor”)

(Editor’s Note): J4G is very happy to present to its reading audience “The Attraction Doctor” Dr. Jeremy Nicholson! His writings can be found at Psychology Today and he writes on the topic of human mating for Men and Women alike. Dr. Jeremy is a much needed “balancing” voice in a space of the Internet where things can be a bit heated and extreme. Today, Dr. Jeremy weighs in on the recent conversation between yours truly and noted ladies dating and relationship coach, Mr. Evan Marck Katz. We look forward to many more thoughtful pieces from Dr. Jeremy in the very near future (get well soon, Doc!). Please welcome Dr. Jeremy!

I sat down to write a comment on Obsidian’s recent article “Why SHOULD Men Court Women Again?: A Conversation With Evan Mark Katz“. That comment ended up growing beyond a few sentences. So, I decided to share it with you all as an article instead…

For those who have seen me commenting around as “Dr. Jeremy”, or who have been to my Attraction Doctor Blog, you will know I often have a different take on things. I write for both men and women. I try to take a balanced perspective. From that perspective, I think both Obsidian and Mr. Katz have good points. At the same time, they are unable to find common ground, because they are looking at the issue from a particular “side”.

The purpose of courtship is for both men and women to find a matching partner. They test and evaluate each other, in order to find a person of comparable value, in areas that appeal to them, with whom they can equitably trade. That is why everyone is so concerned with “fairness” and “exploitation” in relationships. When either partner manipulates the other into an inequitable exchange, and one giving more than they get in return, it reduces relationship satisfaction.

Both Obsidian and Mr. Katz have seen such injustices take place in the dating market. Obsidian has seen higher value men taken advantage of by lower value women. Mr. Katz has seen higher value women taken advantage of by lower value men. Both things do happen. Therefore, each is quite motivated to solve the injustice as they see it, by preventing men or women from being manipulated.

In many instances, such advice has value to their respective groups (men or women). It is certainly appealing to them. However, it is coming from the perspective that people are of equal value – which is often not the case.

Specifically, Mr. Katz’s advice to women is to demand courtship by high value men. This appeals to women because it is a strategy by which they are well protected and “can’t lose” in the trade (which is his goal for them). The strategy creates an equitable trade between men and women, however, only if the women are all of equal, high value. If, in contrast, a low value woman follows his advice, then she may be cheating higher value men with that strategy.

Obsidian’s advice to men is to avoid costly courtship displays. This appeals to men because it is a strategy by which they are well protected and “can’t lose” in the trade (which is his goal for them). The strategy creates an equitable trade between men and women, however, only if the women are all of equal, low value. If, in contrast, a low value man follows his advice, then he may be cheating higher value women with that strategy.

My advice to men and women, which is somewhat in the middle, is to promote assortative mating. (Editor’s Note): Your correspondent has recently written on the topic of assortative mating and the challenges it presents here. That means matching men and women of similar value. In the process, I would like to avoid having higher value women manipulated by lower value men (like Mr. Katz). I would also like to avoid having higher value men manipulated by lower value women (like Obsidian). In my view, either of those occurrences is equally tragic. Therefore, I offer the following courtship solution – and compromise…

I believe that a prudent strategy is to begin with a low-investment meeting, like a coffee date. Neither person invests much into the situation to start. Therefore, there is no benefit, pressure, or leverage for either party. Instead, both can take some time, get to know the other, and assess their relative value. Daters can also look for signs of attraction and romantic interest as well. (Editor’s Note): Way ahead of ya, Doc – see here.

From there, individuals with comparable value and interest can “court”. Men and women should only pursue this strategy, however, to the degree that both are romantically interested and willing to invest. It is also best accomplished in a stepwise fashion. For example, the man would be best advised to not take the woman out for expensive dinners and trips before he even gets a kiss. In turn, the woman would be smart to avoid sex before even getting a slice of pizza. Therefore, such courtship is about BOTH partners investing equitably over time – bit-by-bit, tit-for-tat, and step-by-step. Otherwise, the person who over-invests too heavily becomes devalued, disempowered, and open to an inequitable exchange.

Given that, both Obsidian and Mr. Katz are on the right track with well-meaning intentions. In fact, their advice is two sides to the same coin. Sometimes, however, a more comprehensive strategy can be devised by looking at the bigger picture. In this case, by finding an equilibrium point that does not cheat either men or women, both can benefit.

Dr. Jeremy

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor

Follow Just Four Guys on Twitter: @j4guys

Women Against Feminism: Feminism Betrays the Feminine Imperative

In recent weeks the Tumblr blog “Women Against Feminism” has created quite a stir in the internet gendersphere.  A reaction to feminist publicity stunts such as “Who Needs Feminism” and #YesAllWomen, the WAF blog features the selfies and words of women explaining why “I don’t need feminism”.  During my layover in O’Hare this afternoon, I spent several hours reading through a couple of hundred of these statements.  After sorting and categorizing these women’s points, I’ve come to a conclusion: the future of feminism is bleak.

What could possibly threaten feminism now, at the height of its power, when it dominates all matters of gender in the media, the academy, and the government?  Certainly not the social conservatives, who despite some victories in their religiously motivated objection to abortion, have capitulated all their other gender battles.  Nor are the men’s rights advocates a serious threat, as their numbers are small, their voices are feeble, and they are excluded from the halls of power.  No, there are no credible political opponents to feminism.  But there is yet hope, because I believe that feminism has provoked a much greater and more ancient power, which is just now starting to turn against it – the feminine imperative.

The Feminine Imperative!  I hear the objections already!  Feminism IS the political expression of the feminine imperative – so how can the feminine imperative possibly threaten feminism?  Patience, dear reader, and I will explain.  Feminism, once the good servant to its mistress the feminine imperative, has gone astray.  It has become avaricious, corrupt, and toxic.  It no longer faithfully serves its mistress; in pursuit of its own goals of power and control, it is now working against her.  The mistress has just now realized the magnitude of the betrayal and is fumbling for a response.  But when she gathers her powers and strikes back in full, I predict things will not go well for her erstwhile servant.

The Feminine Imperative Continue reading

Stephen A. Smith Was Right

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.”
-Voltaire

Last month’s events surrounding sports journalist and radio talker Stephen A. Smith, where he told an Inconvenient Truth about domestic and spousal abuse and was pilloried and punished for it, is important for two reasons:

1. Because it highlights yet again, the Power of the Cathedral; and

2. Because it points to a very powerful truth that never gets to see the light of day.

I want to discuss more in detail both of these points, but first, a bit of indulgence on my part about Stephen A.

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Evan Marc Katz Throws Down The Gauntlet: The Conversation Continues

(Editor’s Note): It seems that my recent email conversation with popular ladies dating and relationship coach, Mr. Evan Marc Katz, has proved  much more titillating than even I thought! So, I’m taking the rare and unusual step of following up a post the next day with an “update” of sorts. Even though he’s on vacation, he’s been closely following along the action, and offers the following comments, which he’s cool with my posting here. Afterwards is my reply:

EVAN MARC KATZ, THU, Aug 7, 2014:
Challenge for your readers:

Design a dating strategy for a high quality 38 year old woman who wants to get married and have children.

This strategy has to be 100% beneficial to her short and long term desires, so that she can find a similar high quality relationship oriented man without wasting a ton of time or getting her heart broken by sleeping around. These are HER needs. What would you advise her to do?

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Why SHOULD Men Court Women Again?: A Conversation With Evan Marc Katz

(Editor’s Note): I have been reading ladies relationship and dating coach Mr. Evan Marc Katz’s blog for sometime now, and have found his perspective interesting even while I often had some areas of disagreement with certain of his views. Because we have a mutual friend, I was able to have a bit of one-on-one dialogue with him via email. Earlier this year I approached him for an interview with J4G; he declined for a number of reasons, among them his preparation for the release of his new book. We parted ways with the possibility that an interview could be arranged in the future.

Recently, I stumbled upon yet another interesting post of his, which has a “tie-in” to a recent post that appeared here by J4G contributor Deti, and which will be explained below. I decided to write EMK offlist to express some thoughts and ideas I had in relation to the topic he wrote about. His response was equally as interesting to me, though I still respectfully disagreed with it. 

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The Spirit Of Revolt: The Decline Of The Black Church & The Rise Of Black Feminism (Guest Post By Negro Libre)

(Editor’s Note):
A followup to my recent post, “#IntersectionalityIsForBlackWomen: An Open Letter To Prof. Brittney Cooper”, J4G contributor Negro Libre offers an interesting take on the rise of Black Feminism, its impact and what he sees as its enduring legacy.

In the late 1950’s two events would vastly change the relationship between intellectuals and American society: one was the publishing of the book the Power Elite by C. Wright Mills and the other was Sputnik. Mill’s book basically established an image of an American elite/ status quo. Sputnik basically shifted power and influence to university intellectuals to organize the country so it could better compete against the Soviet Union during the cold war. This will all make sense later.

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Getting Right With Abe (Guest Post By Escoffier)

Frequent commenter ton seems to turn every comment thread into a lengthy, one-sided diatribe against Abraham Lincoln.  I say “one-sided” because, as far as I have been able to tell, no one at all has risen to Lincoln’s defense.  Several people seem to acquiesce to ton’s interpretation without apparently knowing much about the subject.

So I asked our hosts if I could present the other side.  My aim is not to convert ton, which even I can see would be a fool’s errand, but to win over anyone who is wavering on this topic.

First, let me state our very broad areas of agreement.  Our times are corrupt, probably irredeemably so; the American system of government is broken, possibly beyond repair; we live in a post-Constitutional era in which the written and historic tenets of American republicanism are all but ignored; the government is barely legitimate as it is and tends more toward tyranny every day.  I am sure we agree on much more than that but those are the salient points for the purposes of this post.

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